Tape

Christmas: Spending so much money on gifts that you can't afford the tape to wrap them. Oops.

Merry Humbug to all!! :-D

Karma

Anoles are one of my favorites species. They are so cute and quick. I've often kept them as temporary pets throughout the years before putting them back outside again. One of my favorite things to do with these gentle little guys is scare the bejeezus out of skiddish friends, classmates, and the occasional boss. All I have to do is walk in a room with one on my shoulder and some people will just freak right out. It's hilarious to see how quickly someone will jump into a chair upon seeing a reptile. The funny thing is, the chair becomes Much more dangerous to the person standing in it than the anole is. Yes, I'm cruel. I've come to accept this fact.

After many, many years of my tricks, karma finally caught up with me. I was laying in bed reading Ahab's Wife (a fantastic book by the way) when every time I moved I felt something odd move with me. I really didn't think much of it until it moved and I didn't. I threw back the covers and saw this little brown-grey blur running around on my bed. In my haste, it looked just like a mouse. It Was a mouse in my mind. So I jumped out of bed and squealed like a stuck pig. You would think I had seen a ghost. I think I even did a little dance for good measure.

And then I looked in my bed to see this very large, but ever so docile anole looking at me like I was a madwoman. Karma. In my bed.

The anole was promptly taken outside to find his own bed.

Warmies

It's too damn hot outside. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt right now. I have a sinus infection. The windows are open. And yet I have Christmas lights hanging in the windows and a Santa on the kitchen table. Where is my winter??

I'm not a big fan of the global warming theory, but today is one to test my beliefs. It's just too damn hot outside! 80 degrees? Are you kidding me?! Gah.

As for global warming; here's my take. Everything in this universe goes in cycles or circles. The moon around the earth, the earth around the sun, the menstrual cycle, life-death, seasons... I could go on and on. Why shouldn't the climate do the same? As much of a bleeding heart democrat as I can be, I just can't get on the bandwagon about this. It's a great cause but a lame battle cry. If we are going to change our polluting ways, we need to not only start at the bottom with grass roots efforts but start at the top with the big corporations (betcha thought I was going to say government). The change needs to happen, but it's not going to happen because the global warmies are pointing fingers. Everybody knows that scientific data can say anything you want it to say. In order for people to stop using such damaging products like petrol, plastics, et al and et cetera, you've got to give them alternatives. Give us more electric cars, cars that can run on air or water, better and cheaper solar power. Instead of whining Mr. and Mrs. Scientist of the world, give us an alternative. Rallies don't change the world. Inventions do.

On the mend

The worst thing about surgery? The waiting. I'm ready to be back 100% again. The drugs are good though. Hooray for Percocets keeping me out of pain and out of my mind. My roommates thought I was bad about telling stories twice Before! HA! I'm twice as bad now. I'm twice as bad now. Heh.

I've had this irksome ovarian cyst for about a year now. It was painful and annoying and pushed on my bladder, and elevated my cancer antigen markers slightly so we finally decided to take it out. It was supposed to be a simple operation and my doctor made me feel like I would be doing cartwheels the day after surgery. It was not to be so. A week later and I still can't stand up for too long and have to sleep on my back (which is a bummer).

Everything went well for the most part. Wesley took care of me all week, with some help from his mom, dad, and stepmom. He did a fantastic job and kept me comfortable, well-fed, and rested. He also showered me with sweet kisses- known to make any girl on the mend feel better.

Today was our first day back in class. My friend Jenni picked me up so I wouldn't have to drive. She also brought me homemade chicken noodle soup after my surgery. It's really great to have true friends who will take care of me. I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Oh Happy Day!

Wesley proposed!!

We were in New Orleans this weekend for the Voodoo Music Festival. Friday night we saw Rage Against the Machine, which was phenomenal. The band was rocking out, the weather was perfect, and I didn't think I could be having any better of a time. Then Saturday morning we got up and went to the French Quarter. We walked along the river walk and made our way down to the St. Louis Basilica and Jackson Square. After sitting in the grass for a while Wesley asked if I was ready to go get some lunch. I stood up and he started fiddling in the backpack.


He got down on one knee and asked 'Mrs. McClintock, will you marry me?' and brought out this pretty blue jewelry box. I get a little light headed and the rest of the world disappeared. All of the sounds of the busy French Quarter faded away. He opened the box and at first all I could think about was how gorgeous the ring was. It sparkled as if there was a light coming from underneath it. I finally got my bearings again after many giggles and gave Wesley a big hug. At this point, I remembered that I had not said yes yet. Ha! I told him yes and he put the ring on my finger. Once we got moving, he practically had to steer me by both arms to keep me moving because I was so busy staring at this big, sparkling, elegant, significant ring on my finger. I Still can't stop staring at it!




I am such a lucky girl to have found such a wonderful, loving man. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him!

Amazing little creatures

Oh man! So! The end of another semester. I have finals on Monday and Tuesday. I feel like I have been walking on hot coals for ten weeks trying to keep these two professors happy with my progress. It worked in Pediatrics, but I never felt like I satisfied my OB professor. Oh well. As long as I pass the final on Tuesday, I pass the class. Which is actually a little scary. I've never had to pass a final to pass a class before, my grades have always been higher than that. I have been studying diligently the past two weeks and hopefully I'll be ok.

I can't say the semester has lacked excitement. The highlights would have to be seeing the vaginal birth and the c-section. They were both very cool to watch... once. I have no intention of being a labor and delivery nurse, but it has been an educational experience for sure.

Pediatrics on the other hand, I could really see myself spending a lifetime doing. I've always loved kids. I understand them better than I do most adults. I think it is their honesty and curiosity that makes me love them so much. I wish adults were better at holding onto that. It's almost as if there is this unsaid rule that adults are required to be dishonest and jaded. Kids are so much better at telling the truth and accepting the truth. Amazing little creatures, I think.

Dreams

I had not one, but TWO, wedding dreams last night. Ok, I confess, one was during my afternoon nap. Gimme a break, I was sick Monday.

In the first dream DJ from Full House was getting married. Her wedding was being televised as this 'dream wedding makeover' type deal. I remember that I wanted her dress, but the dress kept changing every time I saw it so it did not help me get any closer to choosing 'the one.' I also remember looking at her napkins like they were paint chips. She had plum, wine, copper, and deep teal. I looked at them for a long time in this dream and decided that I wanted those colors. Once awake I decided that the first three were pretty colors but I'm not so sure how they would look together.

The second dream was a little bit more traumatic. I dreamed that I went to the hairdresser for my final hairdo on the day of the wedding. The stylist chopped off all of my hair like they do in those overly dramatic makeover shows. It was cute but it wasn't my hair. I was SO upset! Anybody know what 'hair dreams' mean?

Bragging

Wesley has been updating his photography website. He has been working with both digital and film these days. I've gotta say... The man has an eye for beautiful things. Don't you agree??

Oy!

I had my second test in Obstetrics today. I made a 79.2. Bleh!! Anything below a 77.0 is failing. I haven't made a test score below a B (83) in nursing yet. I guess I should be happy to have done this well so far. But OB is kicking my butt and I'm ready to be done with it.

I know one thing, dealing with vah-jay-jays all day is not for me. The primary goal of Labor and Delivery nursing is to make sure the woman isn't bleeding to death through her vagina. Not my idea of a fun time. I think I would rather assist with an amputation. Don't you agree?

Cutesy Couple Shots

Correspondence

Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table and scrawled a small note into a pretty green card with floral patterns. The card was my first official piece of wedding correspondence.

It was a thank you in response to the card Wesley's grandmother Margaret sent me. Hers spoke of good decisions, love, and luck. In it she welcomed me to the family. Mrs. Wesley is a Southern matriarch, a Grande Dame, if you will. Her elegance is unsurpassed, her love for her family unmatched. Reading her card, I felt like I was joining lineage with royalty. So I sent my gratitude.

Even though I didn't request it, the postman gave me the 'wedding stamp' to mail my card with. I think it is a sign of good luck. Don't you agree?

holding my breath

I have been waiting and waiting to be able to write this post. It has felt like holding my breath for the past couple of months. Part of the reason I have been posting less is because everything has been wrapped around this one BIG secret. What's the secret you ask??

Here's a hint- it had to remain a secret (or quasi-secret truly) until a conversation was had with my dad.

Figure it out? Of course you did, you are smart people. I'm getting married!! [insert girlish giggle here]

Wesley asked my dad for to give his blessing to our marriage, a date has been set, a city has been decided on, colors chosen, priests called, and family members told. We are on our way! Before you ask, I don't have any compressed carbon weighing down my left hand just yet. And may not for a while to come, but who cares? What matters is that Wesley thinks highly enough of me to make me his wife and mother of his children (NOT anytime soon!!!). I am having so much fun day dreaming about our life together, seeing how good we have become at making decisions and resolving problems together, and feeling so loved that it wouldn't matter to me if the the ring could came the day before the wedding. I get to spend the rest of my life with my greatest love and my best friend. Nothing else in the world matters... well, except getting out of nursing school alive but that's another story.

Over the past two months, wedding has taken over my mind, conversations, and free time like kudzu takes over a field. I have scoured theknot.com, theweddingchannel.com, and many others like them, as well as wedding dress websites, and anything else wedding related on the internet. I have tried on dresses, which is SO much fun! I haven't found the right one, but it's a blast to wear five or six gowns in an hour or two. It's a great pick-me-up when I am feeling stressed out. I will almost be sad when I DO find the right dress because then I can't try them on anymore when I need a break from the mundane life of a student nurse.

I've looked at bridal magazines (all dresses and no substance), books, planners, all of it. It's a blast but at times it can be quite overwhelming too. Luckily, I've got my mom, four aunts, grandmothers, and some truly fantastic girlfriends to buoy me up and keep me grounded all at the same time. Not to mention how fantastic and involved Wesley has been already.

My aunt Sally and I have been emailing back and forth for a few days now. She is as excited as I am. It has been so uplifting to tell her about plans and ideas and have her ask questions about this and that. She has even offered to grow Rosemary for me to use in my bouquets and centerpieces. It feels so good to have her support and excitement.

So I should warn you that over the next year, this blog, like the rest of my life will be taken over with wedding-kudzu as I try to plan an event that is 75% sacrament and 25% party to start off what I hope to be the best and longest chapter of my life.

Miss you guys

If there is anybody still checking this blog and wondering where I have been, just check HERE.

I feel like I'm six feet under and sinking each day. I think I'll make it, but school's a bitch right now.

Distractions

You know how when you have something really, really important to do ALL of those other things you could be doing become really, really even More important?

I've got it BAD this semester. We just started back last week after a three week hiatus. I am taking Obstetrics and Pediatrics which I have been looking forward to since I started the program. Unfortunately, after my summer semester I am simply burned out on nursing school. I am just having a hard time mustering up a good givafuck.

Instead, I have been enjoying hanging out with my two spectacular roommates, having fun discussions with Wesley about this that and the other, and virtually anything I can find to do that doesn't involve studying or working on careplans. Truth is, I don't care how many centimeters a woman's cervix can be dilated and labor still be delayed (up to 4, by the way). Or maybe I do. I know I at least care about graduating seeing as how the rest of my life depends on it and all.

In other news, Wesley and I are going to Jackson for the weekend. It is our four year anniversary since our very first date. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting at the table next to the one we sat in on our first date at this coffeehouse (where I came to study). We are going to see my mom and step-dad, my dad and brother, my grandmother, and my surrogate family throughout high school, the Hall-Shaffery's. It should be a blast of a weekend with mimosa brunches, boat rides, barbeques, and a hot date on Saturday night. Wesley also says he has a surprise planned for me. I have no bloomin' idea what it is and am dying to find out! All I know is that it may or may not have something to do with a microwave... I know. Your guess is as good as mine.

Are you a hiccup murderer?

You know you are guilty. We all are. Atone for your sins by watching this funny little animated short.

Blogger Hiatus

It's a dirty little trick we play on one another to disappear from the virtual coffeeshop that is blogging. I doubt it is ever intentional but the silent treatment can be just as unpleasant here as it is in reality. I know I have worried about a person's health a time or two when I didn't get to read any antics for a stretch. Even though I've only got a small group of blogbuddies (that I love dearly), I'm sorry for leaving you guys on the hooks.

So here I am. Back in Bloggerland for a visit. Life has been moving at warp-speed for the past couple of months. I've had times when I could have sat down and tapped something out on the keyboard but I just wasn't sure what pieces to share. I did start to write about the conclusion of my internship at the institution for mental retardation. This is how far I got before saving it and forgetting about it:

I have come to the end of yet another semester at SBFU (Southern Baptists Fundies University). The summer semester started off well with prospects of learning new things at my clinical site and my psychology internship site. I did indeed learn a myriad of things at both places. Some fall under the category of 'text book knowledge' and many things fall under the auspices of 'the truth about reality.'

I learned the sad truth that even at a facility where hard work, dedication, and advocacy can be found, clients are still often treated in a sub-ethical way. The inappropriate things I saw and heard about were typically sins of neglect rather than abuse. They were nonetheless heart breaking. Many of these children cannot communicate and advocate for themselves and therefore can be subjected to somewhat legal but definitely unethical treatment. It broke my heart. My last day was on Wednesday (July 25th) and I was so grateful. I fell in love with the children I worked with and their lives both inspired me and broke my heart. It isn't something I can readily describe beyond that point. One must experience such a thing in order to understand it I think. Or maybe I'm just bad with words.

I am in Asheville right now. I have been here for two weeks and have a week left before I have to go home and start classes again. The first week we had visitors from Michigan and Memphis, as well as a weekend long meeting in Greenville, SC. My mom got into town before I even got the first three people on their planes. We had a very pleasant visit during the five days she was here. She and Wesley got to know each other better and it was wonderful to see them getting along so splendidly. Also, I will have pictures from our visit to the Biltmore estate and hiking expeditions on my gallery website soon.

Life is busy, life is good. It's moving along at a happy pace towards a destination that I am looking forward to reaching. The storyline might be changing sometime in the near future and I look forward to that.

The Hug

I've made a friend at the special education school where I have been interning this summer. He's non-communicative, but is a very bright boy with a huge capacity for emotion. He is a sweetheart. I simply love him to pieces and I'm really going to miss him when I stop going next week.

Today we were outside with the children. C was in his wheelchair, sitting not far from me. We were 'talking' when he reached out his long arms one at a time. First arm came over and I took his hand in mine. We shook hands and he smiled. Second arm came over and I leaned in closer and took his other hand. He pulled me close and held me with his arms wrapped around my shoulders for the longest time. It was one of the sweetest hugs I've ever been given. A child's hug, innocent, with no expectations. We both had smiles on our faces for quite a while after that. He simply made my day.

Ether=Love

Now, I understand that everyone deserves happiness and that one person's idea of happiness wouldn't match my own. I do. But I have Never seen desperation meet desperation like it does at MailOrderHusbands.com. I was clicking through Stumble when I came upon this Beaut of a site. I thought it was a farce, maybe a part of the Onion or something. Oh no. It's real my friends. People like Steven really want you to buy a chance for matrimonial bliss with them.

Name: Steven
I'm definitely a classic romantic. I like a candlelight dinner, some quiet background music, and a couple hits of ether. I prefer a woman that has insurance and a car would be great as I need to make the occassional trip to Mexico to pick up "souvenirs".
Location: New Mexico, U.S.A.

The site even has an article in MailOrderBrides monthly magazine to advertise their services. The interview (posted on the website) is hysterical. Almost as funny as the paint-thinner drinking romeo competing with Steven for my checkbook, er, I mean affection.

I weep for humanity.

The alarm goes off at 5:15 Monday morning. This is early. I mean, hot damn, way early. I somehow manage to get myself out of bed and into my whites knowing that it's going to be a long day. By the time I arrive at the hospital I am alert and ready to go.
I got to see all sorts of awesome-grossness and do all sorts of nursing-type things. It was a blast. I did a double-clinical so that I could have Thursday off and come to Asheville early. I didn't leave until 11:00 that night. I came so close to doing my first 16H shift. I was only slightly delirious by the time I got home although I did manage to snap at a classmate for asking a stupid question (she understood) and make a slightly lewd suggestion to my professor regarding our one male classmate. That was about the time we were let off the hook early.

After a few hours sleep I woke up at the same time on Tuesday. I was supposed to move the clothes to the dryer. I didn't. And now I have a random assortment of mismatched clothes with me. I got to school early and took my psychology midterm that was given to the rest of the class the night before. My psych professors have been graciously accommodating. I couldn't do it without their help. After that was the Med-Surg lecture at 8:30.

12:30 comes and it's finally time to get out of dodge. I hop in the car, find Tom Petty's Saving Grace on the Ipod, roll down the windows and hit the road. I get about fifteen miles outside of town when my car just decides that she has had enough. The engine is still running, but not getting gas. I slowly decelerate until I am stalled on the side of the highway. Need I remind you that this is Mississippi in July. It takes about 2 minutes before I am sweating like a linebacker. I wait, call Wesley, call Dad, curse my luck and try to turn the car on again. It cranks. It goes. It stops. I think I might have made the sailors on the coast blush- I'm sure they heard me. I call AAA. I call the roommate. Roommie comes to get me and take me back to the house. Mom drives from Jackson and takes me to my grandmother's never-used car, and the tow-truck picks up Jezebel (yes, that's her name). Ok, things are moving along. {Thanks Mom, Dad, and Courtney for all of your help!) and I get on the road at 6:00 PM. Luckily, Mamaw's car is a very comfy 2003 Accord and the drive was uneventful from Jackson on. I made it to Asheville around 3:30 AM, exhausted and hyped up on Sobe energy drinks.

Part II to come.

Like a virgin... Grossed out for the very first time...

Like a viiiiiiii-iiiiiiiii-rrrrrgin....

Tomorrow is going to be a big day; lots of cool things going on at the hospital. These are not all from the same patient, but I will get my first real experience with most of them in the morning. I'm pumped, Are you??

a TPN line
a Foley Catheter
MRSA infection
an open wound with wet-to-dry dressing changes
a colostomy bag
giving insulin
and an NG tube

My big question right now is 'Why in the world do they make us wear white uniforms??'

Just call me Bubbles

Remember the 'phone in the disposal' incident? Or maybe the 'glasses in the dishwasher' story? Well, third time's a charm when it comes to my crazy run-ins with ordinary kitchen appliances.

I had moved just about everything out of the apartment except for the second-string cleaning supplies from deep under the sink. It came time to run that last load of dishes that had been in the sink for, well... a while. Anyways, ahem...

So I finally used that off-brand mail-order 'dish detergent' that someone had given me in ancient times. I always kept it around as a back-up in case I ran out of the real stuff. Even though it said 'extra concentrated' I put I good helping in the dishwasher. I then left to run some errands while the machine ran. Luckily I went back in to grab something because it didn't take long for the LAUNDRY DETERGENT to suds up and flow onto the floor. Go. Me.

Update

Oh goodness. So much has happened. Last Monday Courtney called me and told me that roommate that was supposed to be here for the summer up and left over the weekend with nothing but a note on the counter. Courtney IM'd me around one, by five o'clock I had all of my furniture at the new place. By the next day I had most clothes, books, and things over here. The roommates are fantastic, the house is superb, and the six foot wide window looking out over the backyard gives me all the sunshine my little heart could desire.

Wednesday we 'picked up' our patients for Thursday clinical. We went to the hospital at three, dug through the charts, gleaned information and the five of us in my rotation came back to my house and worked on our clinical paperwork. I was up until 2:00 looking up drugs, analyzing lab reports, writing a careplan, and eating pizza (very important part of the process). Going through the chart was fascinating. I got to see how lab reports will correlate with each other and how they can be used to diagnose. I got to see very clearly the effects of lifestyle on one's health as aging occurs. Cool stuff.
The next morning we were at the hospital at 6:30 for pre-conference where the professor picks over our work and asks all about the information we found. By 8:30 we were on the floor. Three of us had one patient. He was the nicest, most patient, most easy-going man I could ever imagine being in a hospital. It was such a joy to work with such a pleasant patient on my first clinical. My classmates and I worked very well together and got things done quickly, effectively and with little fuss. The whole experience was very calm and will be one that I rely on to get me through the rough days that I am sure to come with clinicals.

AND THEN

Wesley came to visit me. We had a very busy but simply wonderful weekend. We went to a wedding on Saturday. It was a very nice wedding in a beautiful church but it did offer us a chance to notice some things that we don't want to happen at our wedding (oh, did I just say that?). For one, there was a very harsh woman with a clipboard standing at the church door directing people on when they should walk down the aisle. It was extremely unattractive. Then there was the industrial strength camera crew and the photographer with the clicky-noise turned on. Eesh. But when you are busy coordinating flowers to dresses to tuxes to hair styles to ring cushions to church colors I guess there will be little things that slip through the cracks. I just hope that my wedding will be personal and not look like something out of a catalog. And I plan on having a bang-up reception.
Sunday we went down to the coast and visited Wesley's dad and stepmom for Father's Day. We went to church with them and then had yummy po-boy's for lunch. I simply love this couple and always enjoy visiting with them. After that we stopped by Wesley's mom for a quick hello and then came home to start the barbecue. My dad and my brother came down and Wesley cooked some crazy-good steaks for all of us. The roommates were here too. I love having a full house and having the three main men of my life together. There were several times during the night when I just stepped back and watched for a second and let the happiness wash over me.

I've had a very blessed week and I hope you all have as well.

Wesley

Wesley is coming to visit me in a week. It is so sweet of him to take time off from work and drive down here just to see me for a few days. We are going to go to a wedding of a high school friend of his while he is here. It will be our first wedding to attend together. The thing I am most looking forward to is dancing at the reception. I love to dance but it's not really Wesley's favorite thing.

It's when he does little things like dance with me or let me cook squash that I know he really loves me. I hope that he knows how much I love him. We've been together for so long now, I don't think there is anything or anyone that could destroy our love for each other. It's a wonderful comfort to know that we have a hardy connection and fondness for each other that will keep us going long after other relationships die away.

Another thing I love about our relationship is that we enjoy doing so many of the same things. We have the best times hiking, doing photography, reading to each other, cooking for each other, and simply being together. It has been a joy to grow together and learn so many amazing things about Wesley over the past four years. I truly believe that we have something special and I'm a lucky girl. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I LOVE YOU WESLEY AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!! XO!

Smiles and Storms

I started my psychology internship at Ellisville State School today. Before I went out there I had no idea how all-encompassing their care was. They have on-campus dorms, a Special Education school, work programs, recreational programs, rehabilitation programs, care for geriatrics, pediatrics, and everyone between with a wide variety of special needs. Most of the clients are mentally handicapped and psychiatric diagnoses are secondary from what I can tell.

The facility is much cleaner, calmer, and prettier than I expected. There is a pond, lots of green grass, and some really fascinating architectural detail. Inside the buildings were clean, organized, and had a much warmer feel than I expected. It does have the same smell as a hospital unit would. I think it is mostly due to the wide use of PEG tubes for feeding the clients. There is a distinct aroma that goes along with the nutritional supplement they use.

Today was my first day to work in the SPED school, where I will do the rest of my 80 hours this summer. It was a wonderful experience. The teacher was very friendly and well-spoken. She didn't have that air of working too long at a mental health institution like some of the employees I have met. One woman I met yesterday exhibited several behaviors of her clients and although I'm sure she is completely healthy and capable of doing her job, I think she could benefit from some time away from the institution.

The children were a pleasure to be around. It truly is something amazing to see the innocent joy in their faces when you say a kind word or they know they did something correctly. Those uninhibited smiles are something only a special child could give. It was sad, though, to see how quickly a smile could fade and a storm would take over the mind. The retreat inward often looked painful and chaotic. I found myself compelled to try to keep the kids I was interacting with focused on the world outside their minds, like the best thing I could do was to keep them distracted. But who knows if that is truly the case?

I know that this is going to be a huge part of my summer and I will probably be writing about it often. Forgive me if my posts become obtuse, as I am not allowed to talk about clients due to the HIPAA law. I will, however, be sharing my feelings about the experience as the summer goes on.

Brick House

I am moving into a house! A real house with a front yard and a back yard, even a carport. It has hardwood floors, three bedrooms (two roommates), washer and drier, tons of space and more than one door leading to the outside world. I even made the extra effort to get out of bed this morning and go to church so that I could give thanks for this blessing.

I have lived in apartments for five years now. I have done my laundry in crappy laundromats for FIVE years now. I've been without a backyard for (say it with me now) FIVE years now. I need to live in a house, absolutely need it. I've lived alone in a two bedroom apartment, with a roommate in a two bedroom apartment (the bitch kicked my cat!), alone in a studio apartment for two years, and now alone in my little living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom apartment with black mold in the shower for a year. The time has come... well... almost. I don't move in until August. I can't wait!

Vroom Vroom

This is a video of my 19 year old brother Joshua on his motorcycle at Road Atlanta. My dad has the camera mounted on the back of his motorcycle. My brother's bike is black. The white one belongs to a friend named Frank that has been a family friend for ages.

Pretty cool, huh?

Time Travel

Fascinating thought:

My car does time travel. So does yours.

Back Again

Can't really put sentences together right now. I'm exhausted. But I had a wonderful visit with Wesley. We ate tons of yummy food, spent time outdoors, fixed up his apartment a bit, relaxed, and spent lots of time snuggling and making googly eyes. It was just what the doctor ordered.
I feel like I am in an alternate reality being back here, feel lost without him being close. But school gets in full swing tomorrow and hopefully I can just race through the summer with my head buried in my books. I'm sure my professors won't mind obliging me.

And for my next trick I'll sleep like the dead for the next several hours. Maybe later on this week I'll be able to tell an actual story or two from the trip. Goodnight.

Happy Birthday Wesley!

Happy birthday my love. Xoxo!



I hope you enjoy the ballet lessons...Er, I mean disc golf. ;-)

Voices

Today I will be packing. Tomorrow I will be driving. And the rest of the week I will be doting. So if you don't hear from me, forgive me. Until then, enjoy this strange little clip.

It makes me think of that kid from The Shining.

My Own Circus

I promise I will never go to Walmart without a camera again. How dare I deprive my three and a half readers pictures of the freaks that live in this small Deep South town.

Let me tell you the story.

I finally broke down and went grocery shopping this morning. An hour and a half after entering the 3rd circle of hell I got to the checkout line with my loot. There was an overweight and gender-confused young man working the register. He had a bleach blond, very feminine, long bob that looked like it had been moussed and straightened. He also had acrylic nails. Blue acrylic nails. With bright pink tips. I couldn't help but wonder if he was simply acting out- 'being himself'- or if he had a body dysmorphia that made him think he was a slender blond starlet on the verge of discovery. All of this is fine and dandy- to each his own insanity.

But! ((This is where my insanity comes in.)) I had laid out all of my groceries in a specific order on the conveyor belt. My meats were together so that they wouldn't be bagged with the vegetables. My frozen dinners were conveniently stacked so that they could all go in the same bag. My chips were laying next to the shredded cheddar and bag of lettuce- things that wouldn't render them a sad sack of corn flour and salt. What did Manicure-man do to my neatly organized groceries? You know what happens next. The frozen dinners were laid on top of the chips. The meat and the vegetables were put in the same bag (How unsanitary). The TP was bagged with the dry goods. All of my compulsive conveyor-belt planning was for naught. Woe is me.

The second starlet of my own little circus was a young woman with a gravity defying weave. I mean, Wow. It was stunning how she was able to balance all of that braided horse hair on the side of her head like that. It had to have been a foot tall, er, I mean wide. I kept watching to see if it would shake as she did her booty-bouncing walk through the parking lot. It. Never. Moved.

Her outfit was equally impressive. She had on a t-shirt made for a small child. I think it was Carebears, maybe Glo-worm. I'm pretty sure her denim skirt was a pair of jeans cut straight across at the crotch. And the shoes? You know they were as tall as the weave. The kicker though? What really got me? Was that she took the time to accessorize this pell-mell crazy-ass outfit. She had a pair of lime-green spandex suspenders hanging from the skirt. They covered more of her legs than the skirt itself. It gave the outfit this air of being 'completed' that was simply strange. I hate to think about how much time she spent working on her ghetto-chic look.

PMS

Once a month, I play what feels like emotional roulette. I never know exactly what tricks the ovaries are going to play on my mood and energy levels. Sometimes, more often then I care to admit, my mood jumps from highs to lows so intensely and so frequently that it leaves me exhausted, strung-out, and dizzy by the end of a few days. I'm God-awful to be around one minute and the coolest, cleverest, kindest Eryn you'll ever see in the next minute. I may spend all morning being hella productive and all afternoon lying in bed with a pillow over my head. I've been accused more than once of being bipolar while I was PMSing. By the way, that doesn't do Anyone any good.

And sometimes, I am the other cliche. I lie in bed all day dreaming about chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream but not having the energy or initiative to go get it out of the fridge. Given the chance I spend 24 hours waning in and out of consciousness and moping. It's quite a sight I assure you.

Today was one of those days until I finally forced myself into a cold shower around 3:00. I actually felt much better after that and plan on keeping it in my arsenal. The PMS had one last trick up it's sleeve though. I got all choked up and misty-eyed tonight while watching TV. Was it Lassie? No. Home Makeover? No. A Baby Story of some other Lifetime Special? God no. Are you ready? I was watching American Idol. When they showed Jordin's visit home and all of her fans being mushy, I just about lost it. There was nothing particularly moving about it. I'm not that attached to any of the Idols. I just got all soggy-eyed because Jordin got all soggy-eyed. Silly ovaries. Sometimes being a girl is just ridiculous.

Foot in Mouth Disease

"Hey I remember you," I said.

Studying at the coffeehouse is a bit of a joke. Having books in front of you seems to make everyone, even quasi-strangers, flock to where you are sitting and want to chat. Nonetheless, I attempted to study for today's finals at one of the outdoor tables yesterday. It was too nice outside to resist.

"Yeah... I remember you. You were the guy who wouldn't do my tattoo. You told me 'Sorry, but I have to go home and [screw] my teenage girlfriend. She's a cheerleader and she gets antsy when I make her wait.' So I got my tattoo somewhere else."

Behind his tattoos and face jewelry he shrunk a little bit. He said "Yeah, I'm not really like that anymore. I don't date teenagers and [stuff] these days. But sorry I wouldn't do your tattoo for you."

The other people around the table had a little chuckle and the conversation moved on. No big deal. The guy went inside.

Then the girl sitting next to me quietly said "I'm his new girlfriend."

Oops.

An explanation

It is a beautiful afternoon and I'm sitting outside at the local coffeeshop quasi-working on school work. I started out studying for my Dosages final that I have tomorrow and moved on to reading ahead for my Med-Surg I class next semester. Summer classes don't even start for another three weeks and I'm already diving head-first into it. Some would think that I'm just a really devoted student- which I am- but there's more too it.

Nursing is the stable thing in my life right now. My love is roughly 564 miles away, my family is well...anyways, my friends have the bad habit of moving off to bigger and better things, and my cats just aren't the conversationalists they should be. My life isn't bad, don't get me wrong. It's just that school gives me something to really focus on, and be distracted by. It's good to feel like I am accomplishing something. With each line of the highlighter the light at the end of this academic tunnel gets a little brighter. I know I bug my professors and my classmates probably thing I am a know-it-all little brat but I don't care. I'm not there for them, I am there for me. And you know what, I'm going to be one hell of a nurse. So if it takes a little solitude to get me there then so be it.

Things that made my birthday rock!

1. It started on Wednesday with a shopping trip
2. It ended on Friday with a pedicure
3. Kristen gave me a birthday cake (soooo sweet!)
4. I got to play dress up and feel pretty
5. Gourmet pizza with Joy and Lauren
6. Yummy Mexican with Aunt
7. Perfect care-package from the boyfriend
8. Stalking the UPS man to get said care-package
9. A constantly ringing phone
10. Feeling super-loved
11. Homemade brownies from Lyerly
12. 31 cent scoop night at Baskin Robins
13. Sushi with Jackie
14. Exploring downtown
15. Making a list in no particular order


One of the best birthdays yet. Thanks guys!

May Third

It's my birthday. And I'm wearing a pretty dress.






(no really...that's the whole post)

Be Aware

By now most of you have probably figured out that I think it is important to be aware of what is going on around the world. Awareness is the first step in reducing the problems our world faces today. I may not have a time slot to speak to the Senate about things we can do to reach the MDGs, but one day I may be able to share concrete information with someone who gets that opportunity in the future. The more aware we all are, the louder the voice that cries out against inequity becomes.

I have recently found two websites that give information about the state of the world in very concrete and statistical ways. I prefer to learn about things this way because I've come to resent each picture of a starving child that tries to compel me to action. For one thing, motivation must be intrinsic for one. And two, the bloat of so many humanitarian efforts has made me very cynical to private causes (see the post below).

If you have the time, check out these two very informative websites:

CIA World Factbook

and

Human Development Report

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Sunday morning, feeling very cynical about the unproductive, uninspiring Displace Me event, Kristen and I went downtown. Atfer eating beingets at Cafe du Monde, we walked around aimlessly, taking pictures with statues and playing in a fountain until noon when the city livened up. At lunch, in true Nawlin's fashion, I had a supurb bloody mary and a bowl of gumbo. Cajun food is the best food. Oh, I was a happy kitten!

The coolest thing that happened the whole trip occured while we were waiting to be seated. A couple who was waiting on their food looked over and asked if we were in town for Jazzfest. We told them that we had come for another event and they offered us free tickets and bus passes to get there. We ate our lunch, hopped on a bus, and in fifteen minutes we were sweating like pigs under the hot sun and jamming out with the New Orleans Social Club.

If I had to come up witha slogan for the weekend it would be, "The best adventures are the ones you never see coming."

Addendum: For those who are curious, I have posted more pictures from New Orleans on my photography page.

The Gala

The gala was a blast. I got dolled up and went down there determined to meet some cool people. Boy did I! I ended up seated next to a couple in their fifties. I'll call them W and C. She is a nursing professor from another school in the state and he is a lawyer. We hit it off and cut up throughout the whole dinner- totally ignoring all the "Nurses are great, yadda yadda" speeches. Those women could talk all they wanted as long as the waiters kept bringing us more wine. And did they!

Afterwards the three of us went to a bar in the casino and had another drink. While there, I spotted a flock of men who were ALL extremely attractive. I mean, not one wingman in the group. I told W go get them and bring them back to the table so I could see why so many hot men were in one group. (Never challenge a lawyer). He brought them back and thanks to some liquid courage I asked them right away "Why are ALL of you attractive. The ratio isn't right. What's the story?" Get this. They were models! Ha. They were at the casino doing a shoot for billboards and mailers. At least I know I've got good taste. Heh. So we chatted for a little bit (they were a bit dull) and I sent them on their way.

After that W, C, and I played the dollar slots for a little while. We won $200! Granted, they put $100 in- that's still ahead of the game. When you play slots there is a woman who comes around and takes your drink order and comes back with your drink about 10 minutes later so that you will stay at the machine. Let me share a secret with you: Free drinks get you drunk faster. I swear they do!

W and C let me stay in their hotel room since I was in no shape to drive. Don't get all creative with what you think happened. It wasn't that kind of evening, don't you worry. I will say, it was strange walking through the lobby the next morning with bed-head and wearing an evening gown. W and C walked me out and I can only IMAGINE how scandalous it looked. One woman recognized us and you should have seen the quizzical disgust on her face. Priceless. People always assume the worst, don't they?

Plans

I've got an exciting week ahead of me. I am attending a black-tie Nursing Gala at the Beau Rivage in Gulport tomorrow night. I tried to find other nursing students to go with me but they were all too wrapped up in school work to do it. I will be going stag. One of these days I'm going to get to wear a pretty dress and NOT be all by my lonesome (although not anytime soon, it appears). I don't really know what to expect tomorrow night but it will be fun to get dolled up and go out on the town.

This weekend I am going to Displace Me, an event associated with the people who made the video on the Invisible Children that I posted below. There are 15 locations around the country where people will band together to 'experience displacement' being fed rationed saltines and water and sleeping under cardboard boxes. Documentaries will be shown and letters to senators will be written. It stands to be a very unique experience. I am taking my camera and my video camera and I hope to be able to capture some inspiring photos. The plight in Africa is always a tear-jerker for me, so any pictures of myself will definitely be taken early on in the evening.

One day I hope to go to Africa and offer humanitarian aid. I want to vaccinate and educate on how to stay healthy. I want to help build infrastructure, even if it is only in one small village. I want to help one child get the education needed to help the people in his or her home pull themselves out of the mire. Lofty, dreamy goals, I know. Reality has never stopped me from pursuing my dreams before, why should it with something as important as this?

Motherhood VS Career

I have finally finished a semester-long psychology project. When I signed up for Experimental Psychology I expected to read a plethora of journal articles (we did) and learn about famous experiments in the history of psychology like The Stanford Prison Experiment. I had no idea I would be conducting my own psychology experiment from the ground up. I came up with the plan, did the researched, performed the test, got the statistical results, wrote the conclusion and put it all together in APA format (which I'm getting quite used to after writing 4 papers in it over the past six weeks).

My study was to see if the women at a conservative Christian college in the Deep South would view themselves as more motherly or career oriented. I gave each participant a small strip of white paper and told the group that it was a PTC strip. I told them that a study found that motherly women tasted sweetness and career-oriented women tasted sourness then asked them to record what they tasted. They were forced to choose between sweet and sour. I found out that 61% of the participants chose the option associated with careers. Mothers were only slightly more likely to say they tasted sweetness than non-mothers and African Americans tasted sourness at a much higher frequency than Caucasians.

In my research I found that only 55% of working mothers spend more than three hours an evening with their children but more working mothers breast-feed more often than non-working mothers.

How do you feel about the work vs. home debate?

Invisible Children

This isn't a cheery post. There are not jokes, anecdotes, or anything of the sort. I want to share with you two disturbing, inspiring videos. I hope that you can find the time to watch them.






You can visit the website for this foundation here.

The schizophrenic serenade

I spend too much time on the interwebs.

After the Rain

When I woke up yesterday morning the sky was falling. The cats were freaking out and eventually the tornado siren went off. Luckily Hattiesburg is in a geographic bowl (or protected by an Indian blessing, depending on who you ask) and the only tornadoes that I've ever heard of coming into the city were during Katrina- which was eerie as all hell. The storm eventually passed, taking the tornado (they are only called twisters in the mid-west) with it. Once it moved on the sun came out to create a gorgeous afternoon. I walked over to campus and took these photos.

I watched Lost in Translation the night before last. I like that movie more every time I see it. I hated it the first time I watched it. I felt particularly in tune with it this viewing. The story is about a young woman who befriends an older man while her new husband is out pursuing a career and having a social life separate from their relationship. They love each other but they are living parallel lives, not a simultaneous one. Wesley and I are going strong, but I can relate to the female lead. Walter, my gay, blind, middle-aged neighbor, has become my Bill Murray- minus the odd sexual tension. Besides the similarities in two the relationships Scarlett and I are having, I think we are a lot alike in how we view the world and ourselves. There is one example I am thinking of- that will make this ramble cohesive with the rest of the post once you read it- that talks about photography.

Scarlett Johanson says "My pictures are very 'Girl goes through photography stage.' " I laughed hard enough to garner the cats' attention. She captured how I feel about my photos to a T. I still feel like my photos are missing a certain panache. I'm going to try and start carrying my camera everywhere with me. Maybe then I will be able to take more inspiring pictures.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Holy Jeebus!

I took a break from my Experimental Psy paper and wandered over to the Jesus of the Week site. I had to share this one with my homies.



Who says religion isn't funny? I'll kick 'm in the light switch!

What should I call this post?

Trust. It is something I have always struggled with, a thorn in my side. But a few nights ago something revolutionary happened. It was a life altering event for me. After years of struggling to trust, the thorn was finally removed. I opened my heart and my mind and shed my inhibitions about having faith in another human being.

This event, you ask. Well, it goes like this. I let a blind man season my food. No, really. (I had you going didn't I?).

My neighbor Walter and I have become pretty good friends. I'd say we are the highest definition of good neighbors. We help each other out. He makes sure I get a decent meal from time to time, keeps me from getting lonely, and entertains me with a myriad of fascinating stories about his life. When I was getting rid of the fleas (yes, they were fleas after all- how embarrassing), he let me sleep on his couch for a week. In return, I help him read his bills, sometimes read his homework assignments, and he rides to church with me on Sundays. It's a symbiotic friendship unlike any I can remember.

Walter is a wonderful cook and can work his way around the kitchen better than most seeing people I know (especially me). I mean, he can turn powdered cheese into a creamy, yogurty, garlicky, super-sauce for broccoli and keep me from burning the shrimp (how does he know?) at the same time. It's fascinating to be around him when he cooks.

The meal in question was a chicken breast that he cooked for me on the Foreman. He coated that sucker down in seasoning salt, sesame oil, onion powder, lemon pepper, and kosher salt. It took every ounce of strength I had to not to put a paper towel between the onslaught of salt and my poor baby chicken. But I restrained myself. I waited and watched. And hell yeah, I ate. It was wonderful. The tastiest, moistest chicken breast I have eaten in a loooooong time. Walter surprised me yet again.

Hey You!

Read This!

Not-New-Blog

Ok. So here it is. I read some fascinating blogs. They have funny stories about crazy things that happen, witty insight into such academic endeavors as el ping de pong, and all sorts of clever goodness. I thought that if I made a separate blog to only write reeeaaaaaaally witty things, I would be more inclined to do so. Silly me. If I'm going to be funny (ha ha or har har, hmm...), I will be funny here.
So yeah. I'm dropping the second blog. What silly person needs TWO blogs on which to spatter her ramblings in hopes of anonymous notoriety. Silly, silly, silly...
It will still exist-and even has a post- but that's as far as it will go.

Oh, and one other thing: Mad, where've you gone? I miss my DC buddy.

New Blog

La Dee Da has served a dual purpose for me. It has been my place to write about the everyday events of my life and my outlet for observations, political statements, and sharing of fun things I find online.

Lately the blog has become mostly a journal and a way to update my family on my life. I want to regain the focus on entertainment without losing the personal aspect of La Dee Da. Maybe if I have a separate place for such posts, I will be more likely to post them. I don't plan on updating it as frequently, only when I have something truly entertaining to give. I imagine I will be hitting the Draft button much more frequently with this new blog. The blog is called Eryn's Anecdotal Evidence, a place to share funny stories, opinions on current events, and bits of multimedia that I find. I hope you guys will like it.

Bumper Stickers

Asheville is in the Guinness Book for having the most bumper stickers. Anywhere you go in that town and you will learn where people hike, what their political views are (usually militant), how to best save the earth, where their critters go to school, et al.



However, Ashevilleans have something to learn from the stickered in Hattiesburg. In Asheville, you have to use multiple stickers to convey that you are on the same hippie-page as all of the other stickered hippies. All of your 'save the world- damn the man' stickers could be rendered null and void by one false move. For instance, all Che Guevara stickers must be removed post haste or the hippies will kick you out of their Utopian book club and Tips for Dreading Your Hair listserv. People finally read about their Hero to the People and realized he was quite the bastard. It's no longer cool to admire Che... unless you want to be a part of that group.

The rednecks know that the more simple something is, the better. All you have to do in Hattiesburg to be 'One of the boys' is have a simple silhouette of a deer's head on the back windshield of your car. It can't actually be on the bumper, this faux pas might as well be coupled with a 'Hillary for President' sticker. And it has to be a certain sticker (I haven't found a picture yet, but will); no substitutes allowed. As long as you can follow these few simple rules, no other bumper stickers are needed to join the club. Having 'the deer' gets you secret information on where the best 'kills' happen, which clubs have the loosest women, and which John Deer tractor is the best for your bush-hogging needs. It's a beautiful plan.

I actually saw a different bumper sticker today that got me thinking about this. It spoke volumes about the driver of the 1988 teal-green Ford, although not in the way I think the man expected it to do. The sticker said "I ((heart)) My Wife."

Now. This is a very nice sentiment but still a little over-done even if bought at a five-and-dime. What one notices when looking closely though is that this glorious bumper sticker was the man's award for attending a marriage reconciliation retreat. What this tells me is that this man screwed up royally and the oh-so-affectionate bumper sticker is his self-adhesive scarlet letter.

I've seen a few of these around town and it's pretty much well known that it means the man got caught. Now, I'm not saying that women don't cheat- I'm just saying that the wives are smart enough to lose the bumper sticker while cleaning up the double-wide.

I live in such a glorious town, don't I?

Alcohol Study

Right now I am in the alcohol studies lab at USM. They are testing to see if there is a genetic component to how alcohol effects your motor skills. I am in a little room with two computers, two chairs, and blank walls. There is another person in a similar room and a grad student giving the tests. We will be playing against each other to see who has the faster reaction time in computer games. So far I have peed in a cup, taken psych battery tests, and started to drink spiked OJ. They don't tell us how much we are getting, but I'd imagine I have a shot of alcohol in there. I've been given permission to goof around on the computer while I drink, so here we are.

In other news, I went to a conference yesterday for the Mississippi Student Nurse Association. There were five keynote speakers (four were interesting, one was useful) and recruiters from several Mississippi hospitals. I can't remember the word for the trinkets they give out, but I got lots of those. I'm such a sucker for that stuff. I still have all of the pamphlets and goodies from Episcopal General Convention last summer that I swear I'm going to read 'one of these days.'

I visited with Mamaw and my mom's parents whom I refer to as Dranmomma and Roy C. It was great to see them all.

There is a chance that I will be going to California for the National Student Nurse Association Conference in a week. I'll post more about that later. Until then, bottoms up!

Darn you!

For 'taking the weekend off,' I got much more accomplished than I should have.

*I read Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince in it's entirety this weekend.

*I polished my experiment for Experimental Psychology. I am ready to test my subjects now (bwu ha Ha ha Ha...).

*I studied for my Abnormal Psychology test on Thursday.

*I got a large portion of my Dosages and Calculations homework for the next two weeks done.

*I went to church this morning.

Darn you William Carey University and your responsibility-enducing ways!

Late Night Shenanigans

The fire was excessively warm since the person stoking it was excessively drunk. At 3:00 AM, he was in good company. Most of the people sitting around the fire pit had glazed looks on their faces or were talking animatedly about the virtues of not using firearms after taking hallucinogenics.

I enjoy being the sober one at parties for many reasons. One is that it is a great opportunity to voyeur into human behavior unnoticed. I enjoy watching who hits on everyone, who tries to expound eloquently (or not so eloquently) to anyone they can corner, and who waits for the opportunity to shine. Always fun are the girls who brag about how drunk they are, the favored mating call of desperate college girls from coast to coast.

So when I saw the young, clean-cut, seemingly well-mannered husband stick is hand down his even younger wife's shirt and act as if he was hand-washing a sweater, I was caught off-guard. She, on the other hand, was not. She carried on conversation like ALL married couples went around fondling each other's nibbly bits in public. For a full five minutes he sloshed her boobies around while everyone continued being absorbed in their own alcohol-flooded worlds. I was flabbergasted. What in the hell was he trying to prove? And her! Just sitting there like he had done nothing more than give her a kiss on the cheek. What a deranged couple.

I did, for the most part, have a good time. I danced (poorly) to cliche 80's music, saw friendly acquaintances, schooled a few boys in air-hockey, and jumped in the USM fountain for the first time. I feel I am a little too old for such rites of passage, but I can't say I didn't enjoy the frivolity of it all.

Plug

If I could make music, I think this band is what it would sound like... you know, with a female lead...

Sympathetic Noose by the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

I gotta feeling I can't lose,
I gotta sympathetice noose,
But I don't know how to be grateful,
Yeah I don't know how you're thankful,
I gotta feeling I can't lose,
I gotta sypmathetic noose,
Cos you don't know how to lean on,
Yeah I don't know how to be freed from,
You gotta keep your head up,
You gotta let yourself get through,
All you ever dream,
Makes you want to hide,
Least all your expectations,
Feel the hole inside,
All you ever dream,
It makes you want to hide,
Least all your expectations,
Feel the hole inside.

I gotta feeling in my boots,
I gotta make some sense of you,
Cos I don't know how to be careful,
Yeah I don't know how to be there for,
I gotta feeling I can't prove,
I gotta sympathetic noose,
Cos I don't know how you're grateful,
Yeah I don't know how to be thankful,
You gotta keep your head up,
You gotta let yourself get through,
All you ever dream,
Makes you want to hide,
Least all your expectations,
Feel the hole inside,
All you ever dream,
It makes you want to hide,
Least all your expectations,
Feel the hole inside

The Magic Paperclip

I'm going through withdrawals. I tried to satiate it by buying a 12-pack of coke, a rare treat. It didn't help (big surprise there). I miss him terribly. It's not that I'm lonely or bored or any of those things; I just miss him. It's tough being apart. It's worse right after we see each other than right before we see each other because at least before I have the anticipation to keep me company. When the memory of his warmth is so real I can feel him hugging me if I sit still long enough, it's hard not to wish I had the real thing again.
All I can do is stay positive, look to the future, and delve so deeply into my schoolwork that I don't have much time to think about it.

Springtime

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring. The flowers have already heralded its arrival here. The sweet aroma of wisteria has been drifting in through my open windows all afternoon, creating a wonderful freshness in my apartment.

My Obituary

Last night in my Counseling Psychology class we were asked to write an obituary for ourselves. We were then asked to read them out loud to the class. I've never had a problem imagining what I want my future to look like. I've also never had a problem bull-shitting and I think my obit turned out pretty well. I'd like to share it with you all.
Also, what would you like your obituary to say?

~~~~~~~
Eryn Duffee-Braun, mother of three, grandmother of six, died peacefully in her sleep on Sunday night at the age of 90.
Eryn was known for her humanitarian efforts and medical progress in the rural areas of Kenya and Nepal. She was a leader in her profession, lobbying for nursing advances while living in Washington DC and later becoming the President of the American Nursing Association, where she revolutionized nursing as a humanitarian effort.
Eryn served as a deacon in the Episcopal Church for twenty years and became a hospital chaplain when she was sixty-five. Her warmth, humor, and love for human-kind will be remembered by many.
~~~~~~~

Who am I?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Sunday, Glorious Sunday

Mom, Dad, my brother Josh, my step-dad, five grandparents, an aunt and uncle all drove down here this morning for my confirmation service at church. It was a delight to be able to take communion with all of them. Their presence made an already special day extraordinary. Not only did they come to church with me, we all went out to lunch together. I feel that I was really blessed today. It was amazing. When I got to the restaurant (last), I saw everyone sitting at one table, all mixed among each other. They were talking and mingling and the whole scene was incredibly heart-warming.

My confirmation was a great experience. I have been an unofficial member of this church for over three years now. They have been unwavering in their receptiveness and support. My priest, Mother Bear, is a rock. This church is the force that makes Hattiesburg a home for me.

I must admit, I feel very empowered right now. My Lenten discipline is to be more proactive in my life and my spiritual journey and today was not only a ceremony to commemorate my joining the church but also a milestone where I took responsibility for the direction of my walk. I feel as if a million doors were opened for me today and I can't wait to see where they lead.

I would also like to share something with you all in this post. It's Brother Bono's acceptance speech at the NAACP awards ceremony. Say what you will about Bono's personality or the direction the NAACP has gone in; Bono has a fantastic message and the power to reach the whole world with that message. I am a firm believer in the One Campaign and in what he has to say here. He isn't saying anything new, but if he can make a difference, I hope he repeats it until every living person has heard it a hundred times.

Good News

My journey to Richardson Springs resort, near Chico, California began at 2:30 Thursday morning. I drove from my apartment to the Jackson airport and got on a plane at 5:45 AM. I had a small layover in Dallas and then flew another 3.5 hours across the West to California. I listened to Harry Potter on my Ipod and watched the desert become mountains. It was amazing. I've never really left the eastern side of the country so the vista was fascinating to watch. I found it so amusing that in the middle of miles and miles of desert there would be a lone mountain with snow on it's peak. I think I have it in my head that all mountains should roll together like the Appalachians do.

I landed in Sacramento and Wesley picked me up soon thereafter. We drove up a country road to Chico, passing cherry and pecan farms. The cherry blossoms were in bloom and looking very serene. Once we got to Chico we stopped at the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. We toured a very small portion of the factory and then had beer and lunch in the restaurant. I had the Blonde and Wesley had the IPA. The food was top-notch, just what I needed after all my traveling. After meeting up with two more Vocatis, we went to the conference center.

Tucked away in a valley that conjures ideas of Ireland, Richardson Springs was a classic resort that had been converted to a conference center. The grounds were awe-inspiring and the hotel was creepy as hell. I knew that at each turn there was going to be a little boy riding his Big Wheel down the hall, or a set of twins asking me to come play with them. The elevator was at least 60 years old, the type that had a metal gate that slammed shut and a real door leading to each floor. After someone made faces and loud noises as Wesley and I passed the second floor, I starting taking the stairs.

The business meetings went very smoothly, lacking the drama that sometimes plagues anything Vocare. The community was strong and there was an all around good vibe the whole weekend (if you discount the creepiness of the hotel). My big news is that I got elected to the steering committee for Vocare International as an At-Large Representative for the next two years. I know that I will be involved with decision making for Vocare, but I am still feeling out exactly what my role is. I'm really excited to really get my hand in the pot and be involved with something so important. I am also so excited that this group of people had enough confidence in me to give me this position.

I have contacted the people involved with the Vocare in Mississippi and expressed interest in re-entering the community here. I went through Vocare here several years ago and have since lost touch with the local Vocatis. I am going to Jackson this weekend for a Cornerstone event (which is a sort of Vocare reunion) where we will do a philanthropy project of some sort.

I am also being confirmed on Sunday at my local church. I have been a practicing Episcopalian for years now, but my letter is still officially with the Methodist church. All of these new doors opening have really lifted my spirits. That combined with the amazing support I've been getting from Wesley has been the just the thing I need right now.

My photos from the weekend can be found here.

Oh. My. God.

It's not fleas, it's worse. I have bedbugs. It seems I passed them on to Wesley's mom when I went to her house so I could 'de-flea' my apartment. She knew what to look for when she started having problems. Wesley told me tonight and I did some research online. I don't just have bedbugs, I'm completely and hopelessly infested. Once I knew what I was seeing, I almost vomited. It's late, I'm tired and I can't sleep. I feel like I have creepy-crawlies all over me. Somebody help me.

Update

I got to see snow- real, powdery snow- for the first time. Saturday night it snowed in Asheville. Wesley and I had gone walking around downtown when it first started coming down. It was soft and subtle, and I dare say, romantic. We went to see Casino Royale (awesome, btw) later on in the evening and then stayed up playing poker (for chips, not clothes) until around 3AM when I noticed that the snow was really starting to accumulate. Wesley was so sweet. He put on his coat and hat and took me outside to play in the fluffy white goodness. He even let me hurl a few snowballs in his general direction and made a snow angel for our amusement. The whole experience was had a dreamy quality to it.

I drove home to face reality yesterday. My first class of the new semester was last night. I can't believe I am taking 14 (which counts out to 19) hours this trimester. I must have lost my effing mind.

This is the semester I have to retake Dosages and Calculations, the class that put me six months behind when I made an 86 on the first test thereby failing the class. Today was the second day of the semester. I spent all morning in class and all afternoon in the library. Then I came home and did some more work tonight. I haven't even touched my Dosages yet (don't worry, the first test isn't for another 2 1/2 weeks).

Not one to leave well enough alone, I am flying to California at 5:45 Thursday morning. I will drive the hour and a half to the airport early in the AM and I will be gone until Monday night. I am looking forward to the trip and seeing my friends that I met at the Episcopal General Convention last summer. I am also looking forward to seeing Wesley again so soon and getting to see what the other side of the country looks like. The furthest west I have ever been was Dallas, TX and Lincoln, NE.

Oh! And I got my grades in. I made A's in Pathophysiology and Professional Nursing. I worked very hard for those A's and was ecstatic to see it pay off. Claire, I made an 88 on the APA paper. All of my red marks were on the References page because I used the wrong style example for my online journals. Not too bad for my first APA paper, if I do say so myself.

Cool Animation

Check this out.

Proud Daughter

My mom and three other women held an art show last night at a neighborhood clubhouse in Jackson. It was her first time to show her work to the public. She has been painting like a mad-woman for the past several weeks and it paid off. She sold several paintings and got two commissions. I am so proud of her. It's wonderful to hear the happiness and excitement in her voice too.

Mom has been painting for about four years now. When I was little she worked with charcoal and pencil. I used to love to sit on the floor and go through her sketch books. I especially remember the mermaids. She has always had a natural talent and it's wonderful that she has polished it and is pursuing it so tenaciously.

I took pictures of her paintings when I visited her on Wednesday. They aren't the greatest quality photos, but I want to share them anyways.

Material Girl

Ever since women have been trying to assert their place alongside men in the professional world, fashion has been trying to make women appear masculine and powerful. When that doesn’t work, women go back to flaunting their breasts. It is an eternal pendulum. I think it is high time women remind men that we are more than a bag of bones behind a silk sundress. I propose these fashion changes for the militant feminists everywhere. Once the trends take off, I promise dig my mom’s purple power-suit out of the closet.

Bloomers

When women working in hospitals started being something more than glorified maids, the dresses became cumbersome. Imagine nursing in a full-length, pleated dress complete with a smock and a silly little hat perched on top of your head. Thus, women started wearing shorter skirts and bloomers. Bloomers do the double-duty of making a woman look manlier and giving men what seems to be a titillating sneak peak. It’s a classic one-two punch.

Shoulder pads

The eighties were Big for women. Big hair, loud colors, and shoulders like line-backers made sure that men understood that we were here to stay. Nothing said ‘executive material’ like being able to poke out the eye of your competitor with the corner of your business suit.

Powdered wigs

This fashion statement screams ‘Respect me.' Anybody wearing a two-foot tall mass of horse-hair and talc powder deserves the attention of everyone in the room. I commend the woman who saw the wig for the furry phallic symbol it is and put it her head in order to assert her place in society. I bet med compliance would sky-rocket if the nurse wore one of these every time she gave drug education. The patient would be awed into submission. Hee hee.

In case this plan fails, ladies. Here are some alternative ways to get what you want.

Corsets

A timeless way to say ‘I would give my dying breath just for a little bit of your attention.’ Works like a charm, as long as you can keep breathing until he escorts you to the boudoir.

Lace

Just like a woman, pretty, fragile, and not all there. I know… shame on me. I just couldn’t resist.

High heels

Heels let a man know that you are strong and talented while making even the shabbiest of legs look sexy. Again, the one-two punch.

This post was inspired by Ar-Jew-tino