holding my breath

I have been waiting and waiting to be able to write this post. It has felt like holding my breath for the past couple of months. Part of the reason I have been posting less is because everything has been wrapped around this one BIG secret. What's the secret you ask??

Here's a hint- it had to remain a secret (or quasi-secret truly) until a conversation was had with my dad.

Figure it out? Of course you did, you are smart people. I'm getting married!! [insert girlish giggle here]

Wesley asked my dad for to give his blessing to our marriage, a date has been set, a city has been decided on, colors chosen, priests called, and family members told. We are on our way! Before you ask, I don't have any compressed carbon weighing down my left hand just yet. And may not for a while to come, but who cares? What matters is that Wesley thinks highly enough of me to make me his wife and mother of his children (NOT anytime soon!!!). I am having so much fun day dreaming about our life together, seeing how good we have become at making decisions and resolving problems together, and feeling so loved that it wouldn't matter to me if the the ring could came the day before the wedding. I get to spend the rest of my life with my greatest love and my best friend. Nothing else in the world matters... well, except getting out of nursing school alive but that's another story.

Over the past two months, wedding has taken over my mind, conversations, and free time like kudzu takes over a field. I have scoured theknot.com, theweddingchannel.com, and many others like them, as well as wedding dress websites, and anything else wedding related on the internet. I have tried on dresses, which is SO much fun! I haven't found the right one, but it's a blast to wear five or six gowns in an hour or two. It's a great pick-me-up when I am feeling stressed out. I will almost be sad when I DO find the right dress because then I can't try them on anymore when I need a break from the mundane life of a student nurse.

I've looked at bridal magazines (all dresses and no substance), books, planners, all of it. It's a blast but at times it can be quite overwhelming too. Luckily, I've got my mom, four aunts, grandmothers, and some truly fantastic girlfriends to buoy me up and keep me grounded all at the same time. Not to mention how fantastic and involved Wesley has been already.

My aunt Sally and I have been emailing back and forth for a few days now. She is as excited as I am. It has been so uplifting to tell her about plans and ideas and have her ask questions about this and that. She has even offered to grow Rosemary for me to use in my bouquets and centerpieces. It feels so good to have her support and excitement.

So I should warn you that over the next year, this blog, like the rest of my life will be taken over with wedding-kudzu as I try to plan an event that is 75% sacrament and 25% party to start off what I hope to be the best and longest chapter of my life.