Bowled Away

I'm in Asheville with my Wesley. I have seen three waterfalls, created a Mii on a friend's so-very-addictive Wii and gone bowling.

With most sports, I accept the fact that my short, scrawny stature limits me from becoming an All-Star. For some reason, I have delusions of grandeur that I will be able to chunk a twelve pound ball down a long alley with the force of a heavy-weight punch and the directional prowess of a Formula One driver in order to knock down ten measly little pins.

Even if I have thrown the ball directly into the gutter six times, broken one thumbnail and convinced my friends that I am going to throw my wrist out of socket- I am SURE that THIS TIME I am going to get a strike. Can't you just see it? Pitiful.

Good thing I had some tasty Yuenglang to convince me that yes, I DO have a chance of making a 73 point come-back on the last frame.

I hope everyone has a blissfully happy New Year and fantastic trans-annual kisses.

Bounce

While searching for ways to get cat piss out of a mattress (I don't want to talk about it), I found this little gem about the many uses of Bounce. I think No. 17 could be especially useful for a certian stubborn man who refuses to get an epi-pen.

1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
2. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get
opened too often.
3. Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season
4. Eliminates static electricity from the television screen. Since
Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe the television screen with a used Bounce sheet to keep dust from resettling.
5. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
6. Freshen air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer
or hang in the closet.
7. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of
Bounce before sewing.
8. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside
empty luggage before storing.
9. Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front
seat.
10. Clean baked on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill
with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent
apparently weakens the bond between the food.
11. Elimate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom
of the wastebasket.
12. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce, will
automatically attract all the loose hairs.
13. Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with
a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
14 .Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sandpaper-ing. A used sheet of
Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
15. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place individual sheet of Bounce
at the bottom of the laundry bag, or hamper.
16. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes
overnight.
17. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

From The Frugal Life.

Scrooge comes around...

For all of my bitching and moaning about Christmas, I've had a fantastic time buying and wrapping gifts and getting ready for The Big Day(s). Everything seems to be falling so nicely into place.
Wesley and I will get to celebrate together on Saturday. Sunday I will be with my mom's family (no more trying to mix families after the Thanksgiving mess).
Monday I will get to spend all day with my dad's family. I'm really excited about their presents. They are each getting a photo frame/album with pictures from my grandmother's house. The photos are from all the way back in the teens to present day. It took my hours to shuffle through the box of pictures and I enjoyed every minute of it- even listened to Christmas music while I did it!
Then on Tuesday I will go over to my step-dad's parent's house for a seafood lunch and more gift-giving.
After that, I am home until Thursday when I drive up to Asheville for New Year's.
I think I could get used to this 'holiday' thing! Here's hoping that there aren't any avalanches.

The Letter Game

Here's how to play: Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your blog, and give out some letters of your own.

Mad Cabbie gave me the letter 'W,' so that I would be sure to have at least one easy answer. So here it goes:

1. Wesley DB- Through thick and thin, we've only ever grown stronger. I can't imagine what life would be like without him.

2. Wedding fantasies- Like a true southern belle, I have been planning and re-planning my wedding since elementary school. It's almost a game I play. The fact that I might actually get married sometime in the not-so-far-off future is still a little surreal.

3. White Stripes- They are my dirty little secret. I just love this band. I like to listen to them while I clean house.

4. Wine- I once only drank whites because reds made me sick, but the new, lighter reds are quite enjoyable.

5. Writing- I've been keeping a journal since I was ten or eleven. I was once a journalism major (if you can believe that).

6. Water- ha ha. Just kidding. I hate swimming.

7. Wrapping presents- As much as I hate Xmas, wrapping the presents is a very zen thing for me.

8. Waffles and peanut butter- Oh. My. God. Good.


9. Working- If my schedule isn't busy enough, I sink into a deep funk quicker than you can say 'Boo!' But on the other hand, if I'm tired, there is nothing you can do but let me sleep. I'm useless.

10. Walking- I could never have a desk job; it's one of the many reasons I switched to nursing. I have to be on my feet or I get fidgety and start feeling trapped.

So there you have it! Eryn in a nutshell. Anyone else want to play?

Hee Hee

I think that in the future, this is what the text books will look like when the ADD kids get their own classes.

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug. I hate this time of year. Christmas season is like taking a gondola to the top of a beautiful mountain only to find that there has been an avalanche while you were on your way up.

This week has been crap. On top of the usual suspects- work, school, finances, dental matters- I found out yesterday that I have a cyst on my ovary that is 2" in diameter. If it doesn't shrink with six weeks of birth control pills (and you all know how I feel about those), I will most likely have to have surgery. Because, you know, I've got plenty of time to lay around the house while I recover.

Then today, after a stressful meeting with my mom, dad, and the orthodontist (who is just out to get their money, of course ::rolls eyes::), my friend Laura called me from Virginia to back out of our plans that we made almost two months ago for New Year's Eve.

Christmas is always stressful anyways. Trying to find time for everyone in the family who wants to play host, all in a two-day window; worrying about giving and receiving gifts (both of which I loathe), and pretending to get along with people that I just happen to share a blood type with is enough stress on it's own.

I do have things to be thankful for, and I'm trying to be as positive as I can. For instance, if I make it through Christmas, I get to spend a week in a beautiful mountain town with the one I love the most. And atleast I have insurance, right? And a place to live too. And grandparents, and aunts and uncles who care about me. I'm safe, warm, and semi-healthy. I know it's more than any one person deserves. So maybe I should just stop griping.

Mental Floss

My little list of health facts was pretty lame, I must admit. Every since I picked up this job and started this new semester, I haven't had much enthusiasm for writting the blog.
So in a pitiful effort for redemption, I have found an article to share on WebMd that gives 13 Habits for a Healthier Life. Did you know that flossing can add over 6 years to your life??

Random Health Facts

I've been in the nursing program for four and a half months now and I don't thing I've made one single post about the things I've learned; which was my intention when I created nursewholvdme. So, without further ado I present:

Cool Facts I've Learned in Nursing School

• Ibuprofen is a very good anti-inflammatory and anti-pyretic (fever-reducer). It works by blocking prostaglandins and is a great prophylactic treatment of menstrual cramps.
• Tylenol has no anti-inflammatory powers and is relatively ineffective for relief of aches and pains for this reason. Arthritis strength Tylenol does nothing to relieve the cause of arthritic pain (inflammation).
• Rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and psoriasis are all auto-immune diseases where the body's own immune system attacks cells of Self.
• Eczema is simply a chronic allergy condition. Find out what the allergy is to (my brother's was nickel) and relieve the allergy.
• Zinc helps considerably with wound healing.
• Asparagus is one of the most nutritious vegetables common in American diet.
• Vitamins C and E are antioxidants.
• Natural Killer Cells (NKC's) are cancer-eating cells found in the human body.
• Cigarette smoke changes the cells in the respiratory tract so that they no longer have cilia hairs to push out phlegm. They become tough and misshapen, making them susceptible to cancer.
• The reason many alcoholics are overweight is due to edema because of chronic liver failure. In reality, most alcoholics are malnourished.

~

An Open Letter

(And no, this isn't about a man).

Weekend get-away

Wesley and I met in Atlanta this past weekend. I like to think of it as 'our holiday from the holidays.' I had a wonderful time. As close as Atlanta is (5-6 driving hours), I've only ever passed through and never visited.

We went to the Georgia Aquarium on Saturday. It is the world's largest aquarium and simply amazing. I reverted to child-like fascination from the moment we stepped inside. I loved the underwater tunnel where you could watch the whale-sharks and rays swim above you. The rays were graceful and mesmerizing to watch. The otters were the most playful of all the animals. I tried to get some pictures of them, but they moved too quickly and the glass between us was dirty.

After the aquarium, we went out to dinner with Wesley's brother, who lives in Atlanta, and his date. The tappas bar was another new experience for me. The food was great; I just hope I didn't take more than my fair share. I can be quite greedy for good food. At random intervals, 'performers' would come out and do their thing. There was a drag queen, two clothed strippers, a man and son spinning plates, and artists who would paint in stations around the room. The place was so hip it couldn't stand itself.

Intermezzo, on the other hand was a genuinely cool place. It was a coffee shop that served coffee, tea, coffee and liqueur, and a broad selection of amazing cakes. The atmosphere was very warm and elegant. I wish I could have taken a picture, but even if I could have I don't think it would have properly captured the feel.

Sunday morning we had breakfast delivered to the room. It was a very romantic little luxury. Wesley was doing sweet little things all weekend that made me feel quite pampered and taken care of. It had a very calming effect on me, as I could just relax in the comfort of knowing that I was loved.

That afternoon we went to Ikea. We had a lot of fun going through the furniture and decorations and picking out what we could see in the imaginary home we will one day share. It was a great catalyst for other conversations about how we see our life playing out in the future. I imagine it was a little challenging for Wesley to not try and change the subject at every turn, and I appreciate his willingness to discuss these things with me. I am beginning to see that maybe he really has turned over a new leaf, and I like it.

I was supposed to drive back home from Atlanta Sunday evening, but I was so sad at the thought of parting. I, instead, followed Wesley up to Asheville and stayed the night, to get up and drive early the next morning. I think it was a great decision. When I'm in Asheville with Wesley, it feels like home.

We went to a concert at some hip little club. The opening band Aberdeen City was incredible. The lead singer had a great voice, the drummer had boundless energy and great talent, and the sound was hard, but clean.

Then came Rasputina. The band is two ladies with cellos and a drummer. They have a unique sound, and bring quite a unique following. The goth kids came out in full force. The brave ones were loud and annoying, and the others would have made themselves smaller if they had the super powers they probably read about in fantasy novels. I guess when you live in a city that is pretty rebellious against The Establishment already, you have to work even harder to rebel against the people around you so that you can stand out and get some attention.

It was hard to come home, but I am so grateful that Wesley and I have been able to see each other as much as we have since he moved. All in all, I think I'm a pretty lucky girl.

*I should have pictures of the aquarium up in the gallery soon.

Amen!

Can I get an 'Amen!'? How about a 'Hallelujah!'? Or maybe even just an exasperated 'Well, it's about time.' from all the ladies in the house?

It's finally here. The Male Pill. There are so many reasons that this is a good thing.

For one, it will let men have some control over fertility. No more 'Oops, I forgot to take my pill, guess you'll have to marry me.' All of these workaphobic, manipulative women will lose their power. Less children will grow up in broken homes. I think that this aspect will be great for society and the well-being of the next generation.

Something else that makes this so wonderful is the effect it will have on women's health. Birth control really messes with a woman's body. Increased risk of blood clots, hormonal fluxuations, sexual dysfunction, unhealthy weight gain, possible infertility, severe depression, and anxiety attacks are just some of the side effects that get mumbled under the breath when Doc writes the Rx. It's about time Modern Medicine came out with a medical alternative to the Pill.

I think it is also great because it puts some of the responsibilty on the man. It takes two to create life, but women get the blame when it happens accidentally. Now men will have no excuse. No more 'That #$#@% tricked me! I'm not paying child support... blah blah blah.' Men will have to take responsibilty for their own actions and the role that they play in conception.

While this could lead to more infidelities, more VD transmissions, and other negative things; I still think it is wonderful. People that are going to do things they shouldn't will do them whether or not they have less of a chance of reprecussions.

In conclusion.... AMEN!

Heat

My adorable, innocent little Sasha has hit puberty. Do to a cabbage blight at my bank, I can't afford to get her fixed. So she now hangs upside down on the side of my mattress, annoys the hell out of Chloe and rips through the apartment breaking all kitty land speed records. To make matters worse, some mangy tom has parked his noisy self outside my bedroom window. How dare he think he is good enough for my Sasha?
Oh the horrors of womanhood...

If I wasn't so skinny...

If I wasn't so skinny, I would be fat. Hee hee.

I made this last night:

Devil's Food Cake

Yield: 12 servings.

Ingredients

2 cups (400 g) sugar
½ cup + 2 tablespoons (150 g) butter, softened
2 eggs
2 cups (270 g) all-purpose flour
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup espresso or very strong coffee

Ingredients for frosting

½ cup butter
14 oz (400 g) semisweet dark chocolate (40-50% cocoa)
3 tablespoon light corn syrup
3 tablespoon hot espresso or very strong coffee

Method

1. Preheat oven to 350 deg F (Gas mark 4 or 180 deg C) and grease two 9 in (23 cm) cake tins.
2. Using an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar on medium speed until creamy, approximately 5 minutes.
3. Add one egg at a time, mix well between each.
4. Add flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and vanilla extract and mix well. Then add coffee and mix well.
5. Divide into two equal portions and transfer to the cake tins.
6. Bake at 350 degrees until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean, approximately 35-45 minutes. Let the cakes cool.
7. Slice each cake through the middle to make altogether four layers; if necessary remove the top of the cake by using a knife.
8. For the frosting, mix butter, chopped chocolate, syrup and coffee and heat in a double boiler until melted. Stir until smooth. Let it cool somewhat in the fridge. Use approximately one fifth of the frosting between each layer of the cake, coat the cake with the remaining two fifths of the frosting.
9. Cool the cake in the fridge to harden the frosting. Place the cake at room temperature 1-2 hours before it is served.

And I am making these today:

Nestle’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
• 1 cup chopped nuts

Directions:
PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

YUMMY!! I hope the family likes them.

Big Oil, busted.

I was looking at google maps satallite earlier. I was curious about the fact that the MS river doesn't just spit out at the Gulf by New Orleans, where I think it should. Instead it is this very straight canal that goes probably about another 90 miles down the bayou. I was curious as to what was down there. I didn't see many homes or hovercrafts. Instead I found huge plants and lots of boats.

What really got me, was the photo of one boat that was dumping oil into the water. It was prolific enough for me to see it without being zoomed in very far. Disgusting. Check it out for yourself. If you look a little to the North, there is another boat that is almost just as filthy. Shame on them.

Uber-nerd with super-human procrastination skills

It looks like I will really be getting braces soon and my teeth are really going to be fixed now.

Being the uber-nerd that I am, with super-human procastination skills; I have done some research on braces. I think it's pretty cool how they work.

I'm so excited that there is a possibility I could go to my job interviews with a great smile when I graduate school. There is also a possibility that I could go to my interviews with a metal-mouth, but that's still infinitely better than having these awful, rotten, crooked teeth for the rest of my life.

I am, I have to admit, a little self-concious about having braces as an adult. I'm not too stoked about looking like I'm 15 again. I hated being 15. I've been looking online for hairstyles that will be a little more mature and flattering; maybe that will help. I asked for gift certificates for Christmas, so maybe I can spruce up my wardrobe with some DKNY or Express. I'd love to add some more 'woman clothes' to my closet (as I sit here in my college sweatshirt and a ponytail).

Braces could be a good thing for my image. I think that maybe it will make me work harder to look like a lady in order to counter-act the childishness of how braces look. Time will tell.

Anyone out there ever had braces as an adult?

Turkey and Teeth

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

This is my favorite holiday of the year. Good food, no stress about gifts, and fun times with the family. I can't wait for the day when I can have Thanksgiving in my own home. I'm going to have Everyone. Aunts, uncles, mom, dad, steps, all of them from all sides. And they're all going to get along. How is that possible, you ask? Because this is MY fantasy, that's how!

I'm having minor oral surgery tomorrow. Dad is coming down to babysit me in my drug-induced haze. I just hope that my mouth is healed up enough to eat my weight in turkey on Thursday. Man! I love Turkey Day. :-D



hee hee.

Mamaw

My grandmother turns 33 tomorrow, according to her anyways.

She and my grandfather will always be my example for how to have a healthy marriage. Their love never died, and they showed me that it IS possible to have a successful marriage. I spent hours asking them about their relationship, how they met, any advice they had- anything that could help me achieve what they have.

My grandfather died almost two years ago and Mamaw moved to a retirement community not long after that. When Papaw died, I became much closer to Mamaw than I had ever been. I learned to see what a strong, intelligent woman she is.

I now talk to her more than anyone else in my family. She is my rock. She also has a wicked sense of humor and a love for her family that I've never seen exhibited in anyone else I know.

It's things great and small that make Mamaw so wonderful. For instance, I called her a little while ago to chat. She kept interrupting our conversation to tell me how the Saints were doing. She told me that they had gotten a first down, but they were behind. She read me the score and then told me how 'one of the other ones is being taken off the feild; maybe we can win now.' For an 86 year old woman, she's a sharp as a tack.

I could gush and gush about how much I love my Mamaw, but I guess I'll just leave it at that.

Republican Jesus

As an equal opportunity offender, I present... Republican Jesus. Dun dun DUN!

Thump thump

I had to listen to vulgar, awful thump-thump music at work today. It's hard to make sandwiches (yes, that's what I do now) when someone is gasping for air and talking about puttin' it 'tween the legs of shorties. What the hell is a shorty? Most black women I know are tall and beautiful and should be insulted by that. I consider myself pretty well-rounded and cultured, but Damn does R&B get on my nerves. The males sing about screwing and the females sing about heartbreak. That should tell you something right there.

And on another note, I found something pretty funny when I googled my name today (hey, it's better than doing math homework). Eryn

Oh, and I should have Raleigh pictures on The Gallery soon.

Clouds and Babies

I woke up in Raleigh this morning (Cary to be exact) at 5:45 EST. I did not want to get out of bed. It feels so right to be there and to be loved, and it feels so wrong to be here where it is cold and all of my hugs are hundreds of miles away.

I had breakfast in Memphis at around 8:30 CST after having a short but fruitful nap on the plane. Once in Memphis I was told there would be an hour delay, told there would not be an hour delay, told to go to another gate and finally put in the air at around 9:40.
The clouds were amazing today. We flew low for a while and skimmed the top of the cloud cover. I could see no ground and the clouds made a spectacular geography of canyons and cliffs. It was like being lost in a fantasy world; esoteric, if you will. I half expected to see angels resting on the shelves beside us.
I arrived in New Orleans and drove through nasty rain to get to the Burg. I went straight to class, only getting there about five minutes after one; much better than I thought I would do. After class I had enough time to change shirts, eat a meal and clock in at 5:00. I worked until about 7:30; it was a slow night thank goodness.
I then drove across the street to meet my neighbor Hillaire's new son Julian. He is a gentle and sweet little boy with long, dark hair and long legs. Hillaire was in labor for 23 hours and had Julian at 2:00 today. I know she has to be tired, but she looks beautiful and is doing well. She was so proud to tell me that Ricky was very helpful during the labor and hasn't taken his eyes off Julian since. I hope that this is a sign of things to come for the three of them.
I only got to hold Julian for about 30 seconds. Ricky's dad handed him to me and almost immediately he started trying to nurse on me. Apparently Hillaire had been trying to get him to nurse since 2:00 and he wouldn't. So I handed him over and he had his first meal. I have to admit, it gave me the baby-bug a little bit for him to reach for me like that and it's a good thing my visit to NC is over.
So now I'm home and I've got chapters to read. I wonder how long I will last.

Eso, Eso!

I finally started packing for my flight tomorrow at around 9:30 tonight. It has been a busy week and I had no motivation to be productive when I got home from work. The packing didn't last long however.

I stepped outside to get something from my car and saw that Fernando and all of the ELI kids were having a party upstairs. I went up with intentions of saying 'hello.' Fernando turned 27 at midnight so I hung out for a while. They are such a great bunch. They are from Venezuela and Japan. And of course, there are the gringo groupies. It is always a very jovial, relaxed atmosphere with this group. It really is a different feel than one would get at a gathering of Americans, where everyone is networking, gossiping, seeing how drunk they can get, and flirting.
I tried sake for the first time while I was there. I was surprised by how much I liked it. I was expecting it to have that sharp bite that you get when you drink cheap vodka. It was quite the opposite. In fact, it was about the smoothest alchohol that I could ever imagine drinking neat. I look forward to trying it the next time I have sushi (which will be soon, I hope).

Fernando gave a very endearing speech at midnight in three languages. He talked about how glad he was to have so many friends here and how much we all meant to him. He said that it was his best birthday ever. His broad smile said more than any of the languages could have told.

Good time all around.

Roses

It was beautiful weather today. I ignored my splitting headache for a little while and went to USM's rose garden to take some pictures. My favorite ones are torwards the end, so start from the back if you are curious but impatient.

My Roses

hit the nail on the head

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

found here: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

back off, little man!

I just had a first. I got asked out on a date on myspace. Ick. That's worse than the aroma coming from the litter box right now.
I'm not good at telling people "Hell no, I won't go to lunch with you, you strange little man." Especially when it's not face to face. It's much less abrasive, I think, when I let my body language give the F. off vibe. Don't you agree? Oy ve.
To anybody that reads this, I need advice on how to tactfully turn people away. And telling people I'm in a relationship doesn't do the trick because no one in this awful town respects long distance relationships. Help.

tabla rosa?

I've never really seen fall foilage; all we have here are pine trees and live oaks- on flat ground. So it was a real treat to see the trees turning in the Appalachian mountains. Wesley and I found an amazing arboreteum with walking trails and gardens. I snapped a few other pictures too. You can check them out Here.

It's a strange feeling to create a 'new beginning' where the very thing you are starting has been there for years. I don't believe it's possible to really wipe the slate clean, but I do think that it is possible to refresh the hope that has always been present. Our love has proven that it has staying power over and over again.

But it's not perfect. There is no fairy godmother with a wand to smooth everything over. As much as I want us to just go back to being 100% head-over-heels in loved Right NOW, it's not possible. The love is there, but it is wounded. Only time and patience can coax her out of the corner. I just hope that I am able sit back and trust nature to take it's course, giving us all of the things we need to succed in our new promises to each other.

This video has been around for a while, but I just ran across it again and wanted to share it.

love is priceless

I was looking at pictures on Dove's Campaign for Beauty website when I came across this photo. I glanced at it, noted that I liked it and moved on. Then I went back. I realized that the photo was beautiful. It represents what I can't seem to get my hands on.
I imagine that this couple is in love without regards to success, failures, or even things that are pending. They are together. There was no waiting for the promotion before they chose each other, no successful goals that had to be met before they could love each other. They. Just. Love. Each. Other.
The photo was taken in 1991. I think that it shows a huge change in society today, in my generation. You don't see this anymore. Happy couples only live in 4 bedroom houses with groomed lawns. There is so much pressure to BE SUCCESSFUL that we don't even see what true success is. It takes a hell of a lot more to make a relationship work than it does to ace an interview and attend all the right meetings.
I used to have hope that my generation would be the one that stopped all this divorce madness. I'm starting to realize just how nieve that goal was.
My point is, that is a beautiful picture. One that we should all strive for. One that I think I am going to strive for. A career only last thirty-odd years. I plan on my marriage lasting a lifetime. And I don't plan on waiting until all my other ducks are in a row (because they will never be) before I consider love.

the fence

"Secure Border Fence Act"
Are you KIDDING me?? A fence. A fence? He really thinks that some half-ass fence that he doesn't even have the money to pay for is going to solve the immigration problems? That's like putting a bandaid on an eviscerated (look it up) wound. Jesus H. Jimminy Cricket.
I ju.. I can't even speak. This is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of. And in light of our current leadership, That says something!
Oh, and I want you to pay attention to the facial expressions of the two twits in the picture. They are very telling.
::deep breath:: Ok. So here's my beef with the fence.
Instead of spending money on Corrupt Border Patrol , and a fence over 1/3 of the border, why doesn't our Boy Wonder President spend some money on foreign aid to help make Mexico a little bit less miserable. Make it so they don't want to leave.
Help these people. These are our neighbors; hard working, family oriented people who would do anything for a better life.
I'm not just saying this because my heart is bleeding. I spent a summer with a community of Mexican immigrants. I have heard first hand what they go through to get here. It's horrible. Help this country help themselves. Start a coup there! Oh... riiiiight. No oil. How could I forget.
We spend so much money on our military and focus so much on non-government related issues such as abortion, gay marriage, and Charlton Heston statues in front of state buildings (ok, maybe not that last one) but we don't consider what we can do for others and how That can solve our own problems.
Bush comes close to understanding this, but he stops short and just ends up buying the countries that are important to his military strategy. I tell you what, if Chavez ever declares war on the US, Mexico will benefit greatly. Bush will sidle up next to her and whisper "Hey baby, how about I give you're chillun and ejukashun and you keep that mean ol' bully south of the border?" Can't you just see him tipping that cowboy hat?

Music to my ears... no, really

I am cleaning house right now. I wouldn't be surprised at myself if I started bleaching the walls. I'm just in one of those moods. And good thing too! My apartment has reached a low only previously seen at the studio apt I had before I moved here. (Trust me, it's BAD).
Anyways, I am taking a break to plug some music that I have found. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club fantastic. I'm not going to try and describe it; you'll just have to see for yourselves, but MAN is it good! Ok, ok, one quick description- It's like Bob Dylan but with enunciation and a punk twist. Curious, aren't you??

Wrap-up

::deep breath::

I did it! I finished my first semester of nursing school! Granted there were a few bumps in the road, namely not passing dosages; but I consider the past ten weeks a grand success.
Why, you ask? Well, I've done a lot of thinking over the past week and I might just be ready to answer that.

The first and foremost reason that I feel it was a success is because of the changes in who I am. I learned to have compassion for strangers; something I was afraid I would never find. This isn't to say I was never concerned about people I wasn't close to, but it's just different now. I am no longer just curious, or wanting to help for my own benefit; I think I learned to care. I think I can be that good nurse who cleans the dentures when they need it and know what to do when a person can't breath due to COPD.

This change was brought about by my professor Mrs. Berry. With her devotionals before class, her glowing spirit, and her encouragement, she influenced me in a way that no one else ever has. She pushed us, challenged us, cared for us, and shared her stories with us. I still think it's more than that though. I think that just by being who she was, she changed me. That's closer to the truth.

This semester feels like such an accomplishment because I finally did what I set out to do three years ago. It took me so long to get here and the simple act of walking into that nursing building at orientation changed me. I proved to myself that I really can do anything I put my mind to. It gave me the courage to pursue every other dream that I have.

And last but not least, the academic change. I didn't miss a single class (which some of you will know is a flat-out miracle) and I studied every. single. day. Sometimes I just glanced at one thing I had a question about or flipped through my Taber's for things I heard in class earlier; other days I spent hours upon hours writing note cards, reading chapters, and answering questions. All of those years of school finally paid off because when it came down to it, I KNEW how to study, when so many others did not. That I actually DID study is the change.

Success feels good.

mind

If you can believe it, there was even more that happened last weekened then what I put in that very long post yesterday. This blog is just a picture. It focuses on small pieces of reality and tries to make them look interesting. It nowhere near covers the gammit of what goes on in my life and in my mind on a day to day basis.

I say this because I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm sad. I'm heartbroken. I'm scared. I'm optimistic. My mind is racing ninety-to-nothing. I couldn't get peace and quiet in an isolation chamber right now. And I'm just trying to make it through this last week of school without losing my grip.

Wrapping up the semester is a challenge in itself. I should be concentrating on material for the finals, but instead I'm trying to process what just happened to me. This has been the most challenging and rewarding ten weeks of my life. I've learned so much more than just how to insert a catheter or change bed linens. I can't explain yet what it is I've learned. That's what I am trying to process right now. But I do know that it was life changing.

wonderful people

There are some weddings where you know everyone, there are some where you know no one; some you don't care to know anyone, and some you are a better person for having met the other guests.

I am so grateful to have met the people that I did at Sarah Shaffery's wedding. How many people can say that they dined, drank, and joked with an American ambassador and a neuroscientist at the wedding of a highschool friend? The Hall-Shaffery family is amazing and I knew that I would see old friends and make new friends, but I couldn't have hoped to have dined with a more interesting group of people.

Chris Dell is the Ambassador to Zimbabwe, and a hilarious, down to earth man from Jersey. He and Jim (father of the bride) went to school together at Oxford University. Chris is also a very good dancer. He speaks four languages and is married to the woman who tutored him in Bulgarian. We didn't talk politics very much; I thought it would be rude. Now I wish I would have, as he caused quite an uproar last week. Having met him before I heard about the drama, I just laughed when I read the article that talks about how the president of Zimbabwe sent him home after Chris blatently stated that the corrupt government is the reason for the country's economic problems. The speech is great. You can read it here: Chris's speech and you can read about what happened after the speech here.

Nigel, a fellow scientist with Jim, was there with his wife Maggie and their daughter Hazel. Nigel and Maggie still have very obvious English accents but live in Seattle and have been in the States for quite a while now, I believe. Hazel lives in a small college town in California and is working towards her masters in psychology. Hazel and I had a lot of fun dancing and hamming it up together. They are a wonderful family. Hazel is a daddy's girl through and through and it was interesting to watch the two of them interact together.

The champagne started flowing when Jim gave the first toast. His wife Merillee gave the second toast, their youngest daughter gave the third toast. Sarah, the lovely bride, gave a toast, and not to be left out, the groom also said a few words. By the time They finished toasting, Chris, Nigel, Maggie, Hazel and I were making our own toasts (To Health!!).

I got to see an old friend from highschool at the wedding. Mikey looks every bit the New Yorker these days. He can still dance like an angel and charm like the devil. I think New York and the love he has found there has really put some color in his cheeks. I'm glad to see him doing so well.
Oh! I caught the bouquet! Now all I need is a groom! Hah.

Today I sat down outside and had a wonderful conversation with Fernando, one of my neighbors. He, Romina, and Isobel are here from Venezuela to study music. Fernando told me about how Chavez is setting himself up to be a dictator, rigging elections, changing the constitution, and destroying the Venezuelan economy. I realized today that you can read the news online all you want, but unless you know someone who has experienced a situation, you can never really understand what is happening somewhere far away.

We also talked about how people from other countries view Americans. I was of the belief that people hate Americans, but Fernando says it is not true. He says that people don't like Bush, just like they don't like Chavez but that doesn't mean people don't like American citizens. Even though he is very intelligent and very well traveled, I think he might be a little nieve.
Fernando has no problems with Americans because Fernando is the type of person who loves everyone. I don't think he truly understands that he is different in that way.

After that conversation people started coming over and Fernando and I grilled steaks that he had bought. I met more Venezuelans and some Japanese students as well. I couple of my other neighbors, Jeremy and Robbie were there too. Fernando and Romina thought that they could teach Jeremy and I how to salsa. Poor misguided Fernando. He kept telling me "Follow me! You move to fast. Listen to the rhythm. You make big, ugly steps..." I tried to warn him. I did okay with all the twirling though, and that was fun. He and Romina said they will teach me. I would love to learn, but if he gives up trying to show me, he wouldn't be the first (right, Mikey?).

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend, one that I will hold onto for a long time to come.

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try some times, you just might find you get what you need."

Sick of it.

I just want to say that I am so damn sick of having to explain myself. "Well, I thought you weren't going to do that." "Why would you think that?" "What are you doing?" Blah dee fucking blah (pardon my language, family). I just, just!! AAAH!
If I say that "This is how it's going to be," or "I just don't want to do that," then that is how it is going to be. I have my reasons. This isn't just about big stuff either. It's about the little things. It's none of your business why I do something unless I TELL you why I do something.

Now. I'm off to a wedding.

art walk

It was a pretty good weekend. I got my reading done for classes this week, but didn't get much studying done for the finals, which are in two weeks.
I also steam cleaned my carpet this weekend. It was disgusting to see how much dirt I pulled out of my carpet. My apartment almost feels less clean now than it did before, just because I now know how filthy the carpet was, when it looked relatively clean. Ick.
I went to Hattiesburg's Art Walk downtown last night. I had fun playing with the camera. I know so little about how to use it's features I wasn't very happy with the pictures that I got. I still put them up on the website Art walk photos because some of them turned out okay and it's documentation of a fun evening.

Light shirts

While you're at it, check this crazy mess out. It reminds me of those shirts that changed color in the sunlight.

I don't know how to fix the font and it's late. So there. :)


Cogs and wheels

Today I could feel the dirt between the cogs falling away. New gears are being put into motion. I am finally doing something with the ideas that have been brewing in my head.
I signed up for my next semester's classes today. Nothing spectacular, but it feels good to have that done. I will be full time and still have time to work a prn job.
Therefore, after advisement I went to Wesley Hospital and applied for a job as PT tech; something a classmate does. She is going to try and help me get my foot in the door.
I also set the wheels in motion for the U2charist today. I called and left a message for my priest asking to speak with her about it; and I sent an email to the college chaplain asking if he would like to celebrate.
It's a start. It's several starts, actually. And I love new beginnings.


Also, I wanted to share this comic strip. This guy has it down.
Girl Time

paper mountains

"To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where the things grow."
~Robert M. Prisig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

I've been reading this book off and on since school started. It starts out as a story about a man and his son on a motorcycle road-trip. Before you know it, he has you contemplating Reason, Education, Quality and many other concepts of the higher altitudes, as he would say.
I was reading it just now to calm my nerves about this test I have in an hour. It was that gem that I quoted above that did it for me. I try to remember that I am learning this material so that I will be a safe nurse, and not so that I will pass the test. Today I wasn't able to get past the test. I have been a nervous wreck for some reason.
I now feel like I am ready to take this test and put it behind me. The test is just a few sheets of paper. It's the quality of what I have learned that will make a difference in the end.

(I wrote this before class this morning, but the website was being a little screwy, so I am reposting it now.)

perfect moment

This was on PostSecret this morning:

dear diary...

I woke up this morning at a reasonable hour and read my chapters for a little bit. Then I started feeling icky and fell asleep in the Big Yellow Chair which now resides in my bedroom. I slept until 2:00. Ridiculous. I can't believe I did that. I feel like my whole day is shot. Meh. And such a pretty day too.
The camera should arrive on Monday. I hope it comes in the morning; I have class in the afternoon. I am ready to start snapping pictures. I am planning a day trip to New Orleans soon to take photos. One of my neighbors, Gabe, is also an amateur photographer and has expressed interest in going. I'm sure others will come along as well.
Tomorrow night I am going to watch "Me, You, and Everyone We Know" downtown at the film festival. I am interested in the movie, but truth be told, I am really looking forward to the chance to play dress up. It should be a fun evening.

gratitude: cool weather

a snapshot

I, being the rude and ungrateful person that I am, forgot to mention my True gratitude when it comes to the camera. The camera didn't just pop into my lap out of thin air and I sure couldn't afford to by it myself.
Wesley gave me the camera many months ago. He knew of my love of photography and was generous enough to give me a wonderful tool with which to practice my hobby. Not only that, but I am grateful for his belief in me. He instilled me with the confidence to learn some things about photography and really push myself with this hobby. So, thank you Wesley for the camera and the vote of confidence.

I bet my camera knows Spanish now

Waaaaaaaaaaay back in the first week of July I sent a wonderful digital camera to be repaired. It had a small defect and was recalled. The camera was first sent to New Jersey. Then it traveled to Connecticut and stayed there for a while; neglected. By the first of August, the camera was in Laredo, Texas and I had spoken to every customer service rep in Sony's digital camera department.
After the camera hung out in Laredo for a while, I get a call saying that they don't have the part that my camera needs and they will be shipping it back to me with the option to sell the camera to Sony or to keep it as is. By this point my determination was through the roof and there was no way they were going to get by with that maloney.
After a few more phone calls with the Middle Eastern man named David, it was arranged. I was to send my camera back in a couple of weeks when they got the part back in (which I think they had all along). So the camera went back and stayed for a little over a week, I believe. And now? My camera is on its way home! I can't wait to start taking photos. I've been reading photography guides at Books a Million and online. I'm ready to try it out.

gratitude: friendly customer service people

So about that cat...

I didn't mean to adopt a kitten. It just sort of happened. But isn't she cute (KA-yute)? Her name is Sasha and this is her story.
Sasha had a decent life, she thought, on the campus of William Carey College. But Momma-Cat thought that she needed domestication if she was to make it in this cruel world. So being a wizened old cat, Momma-Cat cleverly placed Sasha near the Theatre building, a place known to be full of bleeding-heart animal lovers. Sasha knew a good thing when she saw it. When the girl with a generous smile and sweet demeanor walked towards her, Sasha played her part. She mewed and purred and let the girl pet her. She acted skiddish and shy and tugged at the girl's heart-strings.
Girl could not keep Sasha but knew a friend who would be willing. Thus Sasha made her trip to Eagle's Nest apartment No. 4. Melody and Sasha enjoyed one day together, a day filled with eating and napping and bonding. Unfortunately, Melody was allergic to Sasha; a medical fact that Melody hoped would be overcome by her love for the kitten. That night Melody could take it no longer and Sasha came to live with Eryn and Chloe.
At first, Eryn took Sasha to the 24 hr vet, in hopes of finding her a new home without putting her in danger of exposure to the 'Humane Society.' Alas, the vet would not take the adorable little stray. Eryn was told that the kitten seemed healthy and did not show signs of any detrimental feline diseases.
Eryn was sold and the little fur ball was christened Sasha, which means 'helper,' in hopes that she would be a friend to Chloe.
Chloe was not happy about the new addition to the family. She hissed, growled and pouted. But not even selfish Chloe can resist the power of friendship. Sasha is slowing melting the ice around Chloe's heart, while Eryn is constantly reassuring Chloe that she is still loved whole-heartedly.
Time will tell how this little family of females will fare.

*

More on this later...

u2charist

I have a plan. We have to do community service hours in order to graduate nursing school. This morning I decided on what I wanted to do. I am going to host a U2charist in Hattiesburg. I've already started the ball rolling with email requests for information and a conversation with a friend who is hosting one at Furman, where he is in school. I'm really excited about this and I think it will be much fun to put together. I also really believe in what it is trying to convey. I'm just excited all around.

grateful for: friends, confidence, projects, coffee, Chloe, and friends again because I am REALLY grateful for them.

Pax.

Mood rings

Noel introduced me to a funny song. Here are the lyrics:

"Mood Rings"

we all know the girls that i am talking about
well they are time bombs and they are ticking
and the only question's when they'll blow up
and they'll blow up; we know that without a doubt
cause they're those girls, yeah you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them

and i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
cause we'll know just what they're thinking
cause what they're thinking...

she's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day
she said to me that she's so happy it's depressing
and all i said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

if it's drama you want then look no further
they're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives
and it just kills me how they get away with murder
they'll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize

and i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
cause we'll know just what they're thinking
cause what they're thinking...

she's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day
she said to me that she's so stressed out that it's soothing
and all i said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

cause when it's black (it) means watch your back because you're probably
the last person in the world right now she wants to see
and when it's blue it means that you should call her up immediately
and ask her out because she'll most likely agree
and when it's green it simply means that she is really stressed
and when it's clear it means she's completely emotionless (and that's all right i must confess)

we all know the girls that i am talking about
she liked you wednesday but now it's friday and she has to wash her hair
and it just figures that we'll never figure them out
first she's jekyll and then she's hyde....at least she makes a lovely pair

mood ring oh mood ring
oh tell me will you bring
the key to unlock this mystery
of girls and their emotions
play it back in slow motion
so i may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind

-Reliant K

Well how about that.

Eryn took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Strives for a life rich in activity and experience..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

break-in

Someone tried to break into the car next to mine last night. Apparently the standard that the guy stole first wasn't 'to his taste' and he screeched and revved into the parking lot at my apartments, and ditched that car. He tried to take the automatic Taurus when one of my lovely neighbors was generous enough to inform him that she was going to call the cops. He ran and will probably never be caught. When the tow truck came to get the first stolen car out of our parking lot, the cops wrote him a ticket for having a headlight out.
I hate this stupid town.

Wildflowers

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worries
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

-Tom Petty

Music

I downloaded James Taylor's Greatest Hits and Tom Petty's Wildflowers this morning. It made me feel out-of-date and stale, so I went to MTV to get some ideas on some current music.
I had No. Clue. As to who any of those make-up wearing pansies were. I'm 'out of the loop,' I guess. I mean, I didn't even know where to begin. When did good ol' indie-emo become mainstream pop? I must have been asleep that day. Or is it ::shutters:: that I'm getting old?? Geez.

Now get off my lawn, you young whipper snappers!

gratitude: a good night's sleep, and my prof. Mrs. Berry

Quote

I'm borrowing a quote used by a friend.

"If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain."

-Adlai Stevenson

grateful for: encouragement

grateful

I found a blog that ended every entry with what the person was grateful for. I don't feel like telling any stories today, or hashing out any socio-political opinions either. But I do want to start my own 'grateful' trend, lest I forget later.

grateful for: food in the freezer (remember the soup I made this summer?)

Happy News

Remember the NG reporter, Salopek, that was being held in Sudan? He is being released as a 'humanitarian gesture' by Sudan. This man has been on my mind constantly since his 'arrest.' I am so glad to see that he will be able to come home to his wife soon.

CNN article on Salopek

Labor Day

Labor Day. Our anniversary. Camping. Cabins. Backpacks. Mountains. More later.

Have a fun weekend!

Pout.

Imagine me kicking my feet, sticking out my lip, and twisting my jammies. My hair is a mess. My books are splayed open like paper-back carcasses. My dishes are dirty and my sheets are laying BESIDE the bed.

Now, listen and you can hear me. "I don't WAAAAAANNNA study. I don't Wannnna clean house. I just. Just. I just wanna sleep."

Damn PMS. Gets me every time.

Antecdote

I misplaced my glasses at some point last night. I looked high and low at my apartment and the neighbors' apartment and couldn't find them. I knew they would show up somewhere so I wasn't too worried about it.

This morning I found them. In the dishwasher. Hey, at least the are clean now, right? Hee hee.

Paul Salopek

Paul Salopek

Before I decided to become a nurse, I wanted to be a reporter. More specifically, I wanted to be a war correspondant or a journalist for the National Geographic. Well, this guy did it. He was reporting on the war in Sudan for the National Geographic when Sudanese officials arrested him for carrying a map of the country and two American passports.

A journalist knows the risk he takes when going into a place like Sudan or Iraq. This man took a measured risk and, for the moment, lost the gamble. But people like him are the ones that make our world smaller and our minds broader. If it wasn't for journalist willing to risk everything, we would know so little about life outside our world of American suburbia.

Now, I'm not saying every reporter deserves our praise, or that even being a hostage makes you a hero. That only makes one a survivor. But when corrupt governments afraid to let the world see what is really going on in their lands hold innocent people captive, THAT is injustice.

Please pray for this man and his family.

Week One

I survived my first week of nursing school.

I spent 33 hours studying and 18 hours in the classroom. My binder is organized, my note cards are full and my books are scattered across my kitchen table. I love it so far. Every nursing student faces burnout at some point, and I know I will; but right now I am excited and motivated. I also have two study buddies, Noel (she pronounces it Know-El) and Brian, who are going to help keep me on track when my momentum slows down. We are going to make a great team.

One of the best things that has happened was realizing that I remembered much more material from past classes than I thought I did. I've been able to pull from terminology I learned many semesters ago and that was a huge confidence booster.

Chloe is not as excited about nursing school as I am. She has been swinging between attention seeking meows and trampling me under foot to sulking in the corner or screaming to be let outside. I am tempted to get her a playmate so she won't be so lonely, but I'm not sure yet.

Father God, Jesus Wejus'

After a lovely weekend full of beautiful scenery and a romantic date Saturday night, I made my trek back into hot, sweaty, flat, dull Mississippi. The drive was easy, but leaving Asheville was difficult.

Once I got home last night I went into overdrive. My house stunk and felt dirty and my sheets were full of cat fur. I cleaned the litter box, vacuumed the floors, ran the air filter, and washed my sheets and all of my clothes from the trip. I even hung the clothes up after I got them out of the dryer. It felt good to know I was going to start the week with a relatively clean home.

I accidentally went to the Convocation at William Carey today. I got on campus around 9:30 to take care of some business, only to see EVERYONE on campus drifting into the auditorium. All of the offices and the library shut down. I couldn't do any of my errands, so I went inside. It took an hour and a half to commemorate the change from William Carey College (which sounds better) to William Carey University. Blah Dee Blah.

But then! My first day of class as a nursing student. I had Fundamentals of Nursing from 1 to 5. In five hours we covered about thirty minutes on the text we were assigned to read last week. It was nice, in a way, to ease into it all; but I'm ready to get down to business.

The rest of the time was spent on introducing ourselves, house keeping business, hearing the professor's life story, devotional and prayer. I was really hoping that the Nursing School part of Carey would be just a wee bit more secular. Alas. It wasn't so bad, despite being very different from my religious views about how much of a role God plays in daily life but one thing she said during the prayer bothered me.

'Father God, I pray for these students...that they have a relationship with You and put You first in their lives... That if they don't have a relationship with You that You will convict them... Because I know you can Lord. I know that You can make that impression on their lives.'

The Baptists have already 'saved' me three times. I think that the only people who need convicting are criminals. My prayer, while she was saying this, was 'Lord, please let my faith in You survive these 18 months intact.'

Crunch.

It's late and even though I criss-crossed all over downtown today, I can't sleep. I've been having not-so-fun dreams the past couple of nights and I guess it has me a little apprehensive.

So in leiu of a trip to Nod I am writing this and uploading pictures on to my new website, www.littlemisseryn.org/gallery . Thanks to my very thoughtful boyfriend, I have entered the world of ubergeekdom. If anything can cure insomnia, web design can; I assure you.

Let me back up and tell my adventures, starting with the dinner party last night.

Wesley and I cooked for ourselves, two other couples, and Jason. It was my first time meeting three of the seven people there and the two couples did not know each other either. It all went very well; food was good, fellowship was great. Then came time to do the dishes.

Crunch. We all heard it when Wesley ran the disposal. It was considered unnatural, but before anyone gave it any real thought the conversation resumed. After a while I got up to clean the mashed potato pot. I looked down into the disposal and saw a red light.

I thought "How cool. Their disposal has a light in it so you can see if you dropped anything into it." I looked a little closer and announced to everyone the astute observation that "There is something inorganic in here." Everyone immediately rushes over to see what is going on. Just at that time I pull out the mangled front cover of my phone. It was so pitiful looking that I had to laugh. Next I pulled out the body of the phone. The red light was still on and the think was vibrating. It was like a dying animal having seizures. Just pitiful.

So after the hooplah dies down, I order a new phone and the rest of the night goes smoothly. Hooray for morbid experiences with technology. Heh.

Today I went downtown and took pictures. I met very friendly people and got some pictures I like, many that I don't. This is partly because I forgot to take water and half way through the afternoon my hands started shaking and I was too distracted to really focus on what I was doing. Not that I was going for super-mega artsy photos anyways, but I wish I had spent a little more time on some of the shots. You can see them at www.littlemisseryn.org/gallery

It's late. I hope this post makes sense.

Yeah Simpsons!

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally. Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life! You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Since Thursday

I had nursing school orientation, where the professors each took turns scaring the ever-living daylights out of the fresh meat. I got homework assignments, rules, regs, and an opportunity to 'back out now before you spend any more money and waste your time and mine.' Yikes. It's only eighteen months, right? Oy.

Soon after that I was on the road to Asheville. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone ran through my magic little Ipod and kept me company. It made the drive very bearable. I had a coke, a multi-vitamin, and trail mix for dinner. It kept me going better than I thought it would. I'm putting the meal on reserve as my last ditch survival effort for those late night cram sessions.

I was apprehensive about seeing Wesley. This is our first visit as a long distance couple. So many things could have gone wrong. I could have been too uptight (the most likely), Wesley could have been too busy (also likely), or we could have just been irritable with each other. But I wasn't, he wasn't, and we weren't. So far, I have had the most peaceful, loving visit. I feel at home, welcomed, and like I am supposed to be here. I guess my main worry was that I would be intruding; but I haven't felt like that at all. So, thank you dear.

We have had a lot of fun already. We went to a swanky little neighborhood bar with wood floors and a jovial bartender on Friday night. We met several characters there, my favorite being Colonel and his mighty watch. The watch, as he showed me, is also a compass, barometer, altimeter, and thermometer. His drinks went from beer to tequila that you sip like a cognac. I hope to run into him again. I bet he has a story or two to tell.

Saturday we went to Mount Pisgah and played in the creek that becomes Looking Glass Falls. We saw the water fall and it was pretty, but it was crowded. I had more fun playing in the creek above it and taking pretty pictures of creek-life.

Sunday was a very full day. We went to church and sat through a power-pack sermon (three for the price of one type thing). There was lots of music and a young priest who grinned like a cat the whole service. It was quite an experience.

After that we had lunch at a Cajun restaurant downtown, beignets and all. We went to the Mast General Store where we got camping fever, a place with over-priced fancy furniture for people who will never have kids, and a toy store where we had more fun.

We then made our way out of downtown and to a camping supply store where Wesley got a very sturdy tent and great backpack. We both got sleeping bags that will keep us alive and well in weather down to 20 degrees. You know, for all of those times we will go hiking in Juno in January. They are very comfy bags though. We are going camping Friday and then Saturday we will go up to the highest peak east of the Mississippi.

I am so ready to make this my home. Until then, I am having a wonderful time visiting.

Yesterday was a big, huge, busy day. It started when I *gasp* woke up early. I had orientation for nursing school. Was it exciting? Yes. Was I so nervous my hands shook while driving to the school? Oh yeah you betcha. Did I get a little queazy before it was all over? Check. Am I still looking forward to the next 18 months? Yes, but with a much more realistic view of the hell I am about to put myself through. Off to the races!!

After orientation I decided to head up to Asheville early. I threw my things in a suitcase, loaded down my ipod with goodies, kissed Chloe goodbye and got on the road. I got here last night at around 11:00 Eastern time. It was a quick drive, actually; partly do to the Harry Potter books-on-tape.

Good Times

I Aced my final! Yeah!! For the first time, I feel a true sense of accomplishment for completing a semester. It was only one summer class, but it was different. It was the final step to take me to the next level. It produced visible forward movement and I am proud to say that I did it with a bang. :)

So in celebration, I want to share my favorite laugh-inducing nonsense ever. Aaaaaah... the simple (idiotic) pleasures in life.

This is noisy, by the way

People

I'm at the local (truly local, not Hellbucks) coffee shop cramming for my pharmacology final tonight. I have found out all sorts of cool stuff about antipsychotic, anti-Parkinson drugs and other nifty things. For instance, Benadryl is an antihistamine that also has anticholinergic effects which was once used as an anti-Parkinson drug? Fascinating, isn't it? Hee hee.

I have seen two very interesting people since I have been here. One was an old man, who ironically, I believe has Parkinson’s and is deaf. He handed me a small piece of paper with the sign for 'love' on one side and a plea for money 'to support his family' on the other. I gave him all of the change I had in my purse. Not the most generous thing I could have done but I really don't like being panhandled. Maybe I should start handing out pieces of paper with "Nursing Student, I will save your life one day' on one side and a plea for a few bucks for text books on the other. It could be quite a racket. I know. I'm callous and contradictory, but hey, who isn't?

The other was a young man that could not have been more than 19. He was dressed in his desert BDU's with that floppy sun hat they all wear. I imagine he hasn't gotten used to the haircut yet. He had such a baby face. He was so full of joy and innocence. I wish I had a camera so I could take his picture.

If he's here that means he will be shipped to God-knows-where before the mercury drops below seventy. I wonder what will happen to him when he kills his first person and all innocence is lost. How much faith in God and humanity will he lose when he watches a child die in the cross fire? How much respect for religion will he lose when he sees the burned chars of temples, mosques and churches? Or will he keep his optimism, faith in God and country and know in his heart that HIS actions are for the best, that he did all he could for men and their gods.

I know that no one's innocence lasts forever. We all lose it one way or another. This boy's is just so radiant and clashes so badly with the drab sandy color of his BDU's that I can't help but be sad that it's loss is so imminent.

I don't know much about the politics and specifics of all of the wars being fought around the world right now. That is not important to me. What gets to me is the effect these violent chess games played by men in air conditioned offices and linen suits have on the individuals that play the part of pawn or rook. To think about it makes me feel so helpless, so unhelpful; and so spoiled.

Zoom Zoom

Ok, so all this doom and gloom and world issues mess kept me from sleeping last night. So...
Today I giggled.
See why here

Good times.

The Constant Gardener

The Constant Gardener was amazing, heart breaking, inspiring, beautiful, sad, poetic, and truthful. It's a movie that touched me to the quick. It furthered my desire to be 'a world citizen,' to help the people that really need help. It will be rewarding to help my own neighbors once I learn how, but I hope that I will have the courage to use my knowledge to help people who know true desolation. I want to KNOW my little blue planet.

Also, on a more whimsical note, Rachel Weisz who plays Tess in TCG said this about her real life husband:

"I found myself a sophisticated, educated American. He's not an actor. He's traveled the world. He knows where Europe is, unlike a lot of Americans. He's very cultured, but he's all man."

I think it's perfect.

War. What is it good for?

Absolutely not a damn thing.
The Israeli government and military can suck my left toe. I am so sick of their aggressive, ethnocentric, US-backed bullshit. I know America can be accused of the same thing, but at least we do some humanitarian work to balance it out. I don't know. The whole thing blows. Israel is no longer David. It has become Goliath.

On CNN's front page this morning:

Mania

And this is why I NEVER EVER want to work in psych. Good Lord Almighty!

This is a video with audio in Austrian and English subtitles. There is cussing and screaming and even a little bit of manic laughter.

The website says the boy is German, but I've been told that is incorrect.

Angry Austrian Kid

A smart man once said...

Maslow was a humanist who suggested that humans have a hierarchy of five basic needs which culminate in self-actualization. He thought educators should strive to impart this wisdom:

1. We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2. We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3. We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4. We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5. We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6. We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7. We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8. We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9. We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10. We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices.

I think it is beautiful in its simplicity, even if it is a little grandiose. Too bad it's not small or trendy enough to turn into a bumper sticker or catchy logo. The people around here have a lot to learn from Dr. Maslow. Myself included.

Read more about Maslow here: Dr. Maslow

Be Like The Squirrel

Be like the squirrel, girl
Be like the squirrel
Give it a whirl, girl
Be like the squirrel

Yesterday I made a beef and vegetable stew out of the leftovers from my steak I grilled the night before and every canned and frozen vegetable I had in my kitchen. I threw in some Campbell’s vegetarian vegetable soup for the broth effect. Added a dash of Tony's and I had a masterpiece. Ok... maybe not a masterpiece, but it was pretty tasty. After it cooled I ladled it into six or seven Ziplocs to be frozen. Now when I get home from school this fall and I'm too tired to cook, I will have a decent meal. I'm thinking about finding some casserole dishes to give the same treatment to.

As time gets closer I get a little bit more anxious. I've started hearing stories about 12 hour clinicals and tests on the first day. It's starting to sink in that I'm REALLY going to nursing school. I know it's not med school or grad school, but I've been working towards this for so long that I can't help but feel that it is momentous. I'm a little worried too. I mean, when I graduate people are going to be trusting me with their lives. That is scary.

I feel like a little kid at the theme park for the first time. I am the first one in line waiting on the 'Super Scary Mega Coaster' to get back to the station so I can step on. I'm excited, anxious, scared and impatient to begin.

Yesterday I met an acquaintance, Amelia, up at the coffee shop. She starts law school at Tulane in the fall. We had a nice conversation and I look forward to visiting her in NOLA and eating lots of Cajun food. Man! I love Cajun food!

While we were there I met a girl my age who is writing her master's thesis on Human Trafficking. I was surprised to learn that the Bush administration is actually very active in punishing countries that do this. The Administration did research to collect data on human trafficking in each country. The countries with the worst records are on a trade embargo. Not surprisingly, America wasn't even researched for the list. She also told us how W often uses it as an excuse to further his war-hawk causes. Politics. Meh.

Personality Is An Illusion

Your Personality Profile

You are happy, driven, and status conscious. You want everyone to know how successful you are. Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy. A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself. You always keep your cool and your composure. You are a born leader and business person.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I know I could have picked any one of the choices and it would have been accurate by nature of how these things work, but I liked this answer. It fits me especially well right now.

Salvation Through Nudism

The domestic demi-goddess in me had her way with my kitchen this weekend. The layer of cocoa powder on the counter top and splatters of spaghetti sauce on the stove are a loud reminder of the fun I had. I haven’t gotten the nerve to clean it up yet; not because of laziness, but because I like the way it makes my kitchen looked lived-in and used.

The truffles I made were not half bad. I made three varieties: ginger and allspice, peanut butter, and almandine. The ginger and allspice ones were divine. While I was working I got it in my head that I should open a truffle shop. By the time I finished designing the shop layout, advertising, credo, and premise of my store I was finished making the truffles. It was a very relaxing evening. Solitude has its rewards.

I have also been reading You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe. He had this to say:

"They, too, had begun as seekers after truth, but had suffered some eclipse of vision and had ended as champions of some limited brand of truth. They were the ones who became the special pleaders for things as they are, and their names grew fat and sleek in the pages of The Saturday Evening Post and women's magazines. Or they became escapists and sold themselves to Hollywood, and were lost and sunk without a trace. Or, somewhat differently but following the same blind principle, they identified themselves with this or that group, clique, faction, or interest in art or politics, and led forlorn and esoteric little cults and isms. These were the innumerable small fry who became the literary Communists, or single-taxers, or embattled vegetarians, or believers in salvation through nudism. Whatever they became- and there was no limit to their variety- they were like the blind men with the elephant: each one of them had accepted some part of life for the whole, some fragmentary truth or half-truth for truth itself, some little personal interest for the large and all-embracing interest of mankind. If that happened to him, how, then, could he sing America?"

Stream of Conscience

Summertime. It's either go-go-go or STOP. I like the fall, when everything seems to amble along at a nice steady clop. This summer has been no exception. Life was full-speed-ahead until July 5th when everything came to a screeching halt and the only thing I had to look forward to for the month of July was getting shots at the Health Department and Tuesday night Pharmacology class.

A synopsis in stream of conscience form:
Heat. Planes. Distance. Episcopal General Convention. Gays. Women. Church. Food. Friends. U2charist. One campaign. Walking. Drinking. Motorcycles. Road trips. Packing. Moving. Left behind. Acceptance Letter. Nursing school. Year and a half. Vaccinations. Chicken Pox. Stethoscope. Violet. New home. Dishwasher. Never used. Brick courtyard. Heat. Fark. Pharmacology. Late night phone calls. Beach. Condo. Hurricane. Dancing. High heels. Sleep. Boredom. Solitude. Cat. Sewing Machine. Big Ideas. Coffee. Movies. Anticipation. Noel. Friends.

Fresh Start

With all of the recent changes in my life, I figured it was time to start a new blog. So here it is. TaDa. Look behind you. Did you see the fireworks?