Amazing little creatures

Oh man! So! The end of another semester. I have finals on Monday and Tuesday. I feel like I have been walking on hot coals for ten weeks trying to keep these two professors happy with my progress. It worked in Pediatrics, but I never felt like I satisfied my OB professor. Oh well. As long as I pass the final on Tuesday, I pass the class. Which is actually a little scary. I've never had to pass a final to pass a class before, my grades have always been higher than that. I have been studying diligently the past two weeks and hopefully I'll be ok.

I can't say the semester has lacked excitement. The highlights would have to be seeing the vaginal birth and the c-section. They were both very cool to watch... once. I have no intention of being a labor and delivery nurse, but it has been an educational experience for sure.

Pediatrics on the other hand, I could really see myself spending a lifetime doing. I've always loved kids. I understand them better than I do most adults. I think it is their honesty and curiosity that makes me love them so much. I wish adults were better at holding onto that. It's almost as if there is this unsaid rule that adults are required to be dishonest and jaded. Kids are so much better at telling the truth and accepting the truth. Amazing little creatures, I think.

Distractions

You know how when you have something really, really important to do ALL of those other things you could be doing become really, really even More important?

I've got it BAD this semester. We just started back last week after a three week hiatus. I am taking Obstetrics and Pediatrics which I have been looking forward to since I started the program. Unfortunately, after my summer semester I am simply burned out on nursing school. I am just having a hard time mustering up a good givafuck.

Instead, I have been enjoying hanging out with my two spectacular roommates, having fun discussions with Wesley about this that and the other, and virtually anything I can find to do that doesn't involve studying or working on careplans. Truth is, I don't care how many centimeters a woman's cervix can be dilated and labor still be delayed (up to 4, by the way). Or maybe I do. I know I at least care about graduating seeing as how the rest of my life depends on it and all.

In other news, Wesley and I are going to Jackson for the weekend. It is our four year anniversary since our very first date. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting at the table next to the one we sat in on our first date at this coffeehouse (where I came to study). We are going to see my mom and step-dad, my dad and brother, my grandmother, and my surrogate family throughout high school, the Hall-Shaffery's. It should be a blast of a weekend with mimosa brunches, boat rides, barbeques, and a hot date on Saturday night. Wesley also says he has a surprise planned for me. I have no bloomin' idea what it is and am dying to find out! All I know is that it may or may not have something to do with a microwave... I know. Your guess is as good as mine.

Like a virgin... Grossed out for the very first time...

Like a viiiiiiii-iiiiiiiii-rrrrrgin....

Tomorrow is going to be a big day; lots of cool things going on at the hospital. These are not all from the same patient, but I will get my first real experience with most of them in the morning. I'm pumped, Are you??

a TPN line
a Foley Catheter
MRSA infection
an open wound with wet-to-dry dressing changes
a colostomy bag
giving insulin
and an NG tube

My big question right now is 'Why in the world do they make us wear white uniforms??'

Update

I got to see snow- real, powdery snow- for the first time. Saturday night it snowed in Asheville. Wesley and I had gone walking around downtown when it first started coming down. It was soft and subtle, and I dare say, romantic. We went to see Casino Royale (awesome, btw) later on in the evening and then stayed up playing poker (for chips, not clothes) until around 3AM when I noticed that the snow was really starting to accumulate. Wesley was so sweet. He put on his coat and hat and took me outside to play in the fluffy white goodness. He even let me hurl a few snowballs in his general direction and made a snow angel for our amusement. The whole experience was had a dreamy quality to it.

I drove home to face reality yesterday. My first class of the new semester was last night. I can't believe I am taking 14 (which counts out to 19) hours this trimester. I must have lost my effing mind.

This is the semester I have to retake Dosages and Calculations, the class that put me six months behind when I made an 86 on the first test thereby failing the class. Today was the second day of the semester. I spent all morning in class and all afternoon in the library. Then I came home and did some more work tonight. I haven't even touched my Dosages yet (don't worry, the first test isn't for another 2 1/2 weeks).

Not one to leave well enough alone, I am flying to California at 5:45 Thursday morning. I will drive the hour and a half to the airport early in the AM and I will be gone until Monday night. I am looking forward to the trip and seeing my friends that I met at the Episcopal General Convention last summer. I am also looking forward to seeing Wesley again so soon and getting to see what the other side of the country looks like. The furthest west I have ever been was Dallas, TX and Lincoln, NE.

Oh! And I got my grades in. I made A's in Pathophysiology and Professional Nursing. I worked very hard for those A's and was ecstatic to see it pay off. Claire, I made an 88 on the APA paper. All of my red marks were on the References page because I used the wrong style example for my online journals. Not too bad for my first APA paper, if I do say so myself.

mind

If you can believe it, there was even more that happened last weekened then what I put in that very long post yesterday. This blog is just a picture. It focuses on small pieces of reality and tries to make them look interesting. It nowhere near covers the gammit of what goes on in my life and in my mind on a day to day basis.

I say this because I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm sad. I'm heartbroken. I'm scared. I'm optimistic. My mind is racing ninety-to-nothing. I couldn't get peace and quiet in an isolation chamber right now. And I'm just trying to make it through this last week of school without losing my grip.

Wrapping up the semester is a challenge in itself. I should be concentrating on material for the finals, but instead I'm trying to process what just happened to me. This has been the most challenging and rewarding ten weeks of my life. I've learned so much more than just how to insert a catheter or change bed linens. I can't explain yet what it is I've learned. That's what I am trying to process right now. But I do know that it was life changing.

Pout.

Imagine me kicking my feet, sticking out my lip, and twisting my jammies. My hair is a mess. My books are splayed open like paper-back carcasses. My dishes are dirty and my sheets are laying BESIDE the bed.

Now, listen and you can hear me. "I don't WAAAAAANNNA study. I don't Wannnna clean house. I just. Just. I just wanna sleep."

Damn PMS. Gets me every time.

Week One

I survived my first week of nursing school.

I spent 33 hours studying and 18 hours in the classroom. My binder is organized, my note cards are full and my books are scattered across my kitchen table. I love it so far. Every nursing student faces burnout at some point, and I know I will; but right now I am excited and motivated. I also have two study buddies, Noel (she pronounces it Know-El) and Brian, who are going to help keep me on track when my momentum slows down. We are going to make a great team.

One of the best things that has happened was realizing that I remembered much more material from past classes than I thought I did. I've been able to pull from terminology I learned many semesters ago and that was a huge confidence booster.

Chloe is not as excited about nursing school as I am. She has been swinging between attention seeking meows and trampling me under foot to sulking in the corner or screaming to be let outside. I am tempted to get her a playmate so she won't be so lonely, but I'm not sure yet.

Father God, Jesus Wejus'

After a lovely weekend full of beautiful scenery and a romantic date Saturday night, I made my trek back into hot, sweaty, flat, dull Mississippi. The drive was easy, but leaving Asheville was difficult.

Once I got home last night I went into overdrive. My house stunk and felt dirty and my sheets were full of cat fur. I cleaned the litter box, vacuumed the floors, ran the air filter, and washed my sheets and all of my clothes from the trip. I even hung the clothes up after I got them out of the dryer. It felt good to know I was going to start the week with a relatively clean home.

I accidentally went to the Convocation at William Carey today. I got on campus around 9:30 to take care of some business, only to see EVERYONE on campus drifting into the auditorium. All of the offices and the library shut down. I couldn't do any of my errands, so I went inside. It took an hour and a half to commemorate the change from William Carey College (which sounds better) to William Carey University. Blah Dee Blah.

But then! My first day of class as a nursing student. I had Fundamentals of Nursing from 1 to 5. In five hours we covered about thirty minutes on the text we were assigned to read last week. It was nice, in a way, to ease into it all; but I'm ready to get down to business.

The rest of the time was spent on introducing ourselves, house keeping business, hearing the professor's life story, devotional and prayer. I was really hoping that the Nursing School part of Carey would be just a wee bit more secular. Alas. It wasn't so bad, despite being very different from my religious views about how much of a role God plays in daily life but one thing she said during the prayer bothered me.

'Father God, I pray for these students...that they have a relationship with You and put You first in their lives... That if they don't have a relationship with You that You will convict them... Because I know you can Lord. I know that You can make that impression on their lives.'

The Baptists have already 'saved' me three times. I think that the only people who need convicting are criminals. My prayer, while she was saying this, was 'Lord, please let my faith in You survive these 18 months intact.'

Since Thursday

I had nursing school orientation, where the professors each took turns scaring the ever-living daylights out of the fresh meat. I got homework assignments, rules, regs, and an opportunity to 'back out now before you spend any more money and waste your time and mine.' Yikes. It's only eighteen months, right? Oy.

Soon after that I was on the road to Asheville. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone ran through my magic little Ipod and kept me company. It made the drive very bearable. I had a coke, a multi-vitamin, and trail mix for dinner. It kept me going better than I thought it would. I'm putting the meal on reserve as my last ditch survival effort for those late night cram sessions.

I was apprehensive about seeing Wesley. This is our first visit as a long distance couple. So many things could have gone wrong. I could have been too uptight (the most likely), Wesley could have been too busy (also likely), or we could have just been irritable with each other. But I wasn't, he wasn't, and we weren't. So far, I have had the most peaceful, loving visit. I feel at home, welcomed, and like I am supposed to be here. I guess my main worry was that I would be intruding; but I haven't felt like that at all. So, thank you dear.

We have had a lot of fun already. We went to a swanky little neighborhood bar with wood floors and a jovial bartender on Friday night. We met several characters there, my favorite being Colonel and his mighty watch. The watch, as he showed me, is also a compass, barometer, altimeter, and thermometer. His drinks went from beer to tequila that you sip like a cognac. I hope to run into him again. I bet he has a story or two to tell.

Saturday we went to Mount Pisgah and played in the creek that becomes Looking Glass Falls. We saw the water fall and it was pretty, but it was crowded. I had more fun playing in the creek above it and taking pretty pictures of creek-life.

Sunday was a very full day. We went to church and sat through a power-pack sermon (three for the price of one type thing). There was lots of music and a young priest who grinned like a cat the whole service. It was quite an experience.

After that we had lunch at a Cajun restaurant downtown, beignets and all. We went to the Mast General Store where we got camping fever, a place with over-priced fancy furniture for people who will never have kids, and a toy store where we had more fun.

We then made our way out of downtown and to a camping supply store where Wesley got a very sturdy tent and great backpack. We both got sleeping bags that will keep us alive and well in weather down to 20 degrees. You know, for all of those times we will go hiking in Juno in January. They are very comfy bags though. We are going camping Friday and then Saturday we will go up to the highest peak east of the Mississippi.

I am so ready to make this my home. Until then, I am having a wonderful time visiting.

Be Like The Squirrel

Be like the squirrel, girl
Be like the squirrel
Give it a whirl, girl
Be like the squirrel

Yesterday I made a beef and vegetable stew out of the leftovers from my steak I grilled the night before and every canned and frozen vegetable I had in my kitchen. I threw in some Campbell’s vegetarian vegetable soup for the broth effect. Added a dash of Tony's and I had a masterpiece. Ok... maybe not a masterpiece, but it was pretty tasty. After it cooled I ladled it into six or seven Ziplocs to be frozen. Now when I get home from school this fall and I'm too tired to cook, I will have a decent meal. I'm thinking about finding some casserole dishes to give the same treatment to.

As time gets closer I get a little bit more anxious. I've started hearing stories about 12 hour clinicals and tests on the first day. It's starting to sink in that I'm REALLY going to nursing school. I know it's not med school or grad school, but I've been working towards this for so long that I can't help but feel that it is momentous. I'm a little worried too. I mean, when I graduate people are going to be trusting me with their lives. That is scary.

I feel like a little kid at the theme park for the first time. I am the first one in line waiting on the 'Super Scary Mega Coaster' to get back to the station so I can step on. I'm excited, anxious, scared and impatient to begin.

Yesterday I met an acquaintance, Amelia, up at the coffee shop. She starts law school at Tulane in the fall. We had a nice conversation and I look forward to visiting her in NOLA and eating lots of Cajun food. Man! I love Cajun food!

While we were there I met a girl my age who is writing her master's thesis on Human Trafficking. I was surprised to learn that the Bush administration is actually very active in punishing countries that do this. The Administration did research to collect data on human trafficking in each country. The countries with the worst records are on a trade embargo. Not surprisingly, America wasn't even researched for the list. She also told us how W often uses it as an excuse to further his war-hawk causes. Politics. Meh.