That Neighbor
"Hi, my name is Big C. Some people call me Vanessa," were the first words spoken to my by any of my new neighbors when I moved to this apartment last May.
Big C is an RN, a drag queen, a loud-mouth, and a person who is prone to 11 decibel fits of rage and anger.
One of the first times I hung out with my neighbors as a group was when we all went to support Vanessa at her pageant. MMHmm Giiiiiiiiirl, lemme teeeeeeeeeeell you. It was quite a site to see. When Vanessa walked out there with all the sass and beauty-queen attitude she could muster (which was more than enough) I didn't know what to think. One thought I do remember was 'Grown men should never wear white evening gowns. Darker colors would work so much better.'
Big C adds character to our little family at The Nest, where most of us are simple college students with simple lives. He is constantly regaling us with stories about his 15 siblings, his ever-present lawsuit and the lawyer who is out to get him, and his "Paaaaaaaaaagints."
Today Big C came over to use my computer and printer. As he stepped in the door, he got on the phone with a friend whom he lovingly referred to as "Alright Bee-atch." As in, "Alright Bee-atch. You know I was the best at that Paaaaaaaaagint." Not only was Big C loud enough to send my cats cowering, but the young man on the other end of the phone was clearly audible from my safe distance of 6 or 7 feet away. I finally got what he needed printed. As he said "Thank you guuuuurl," he gave me a kiss in the vicinity of each cheek (one hit my ear).
Running into Big C is like hallucinating that the entire world is a little bit louder and a little bit more technicolor than it actually is. God bless 'm, that 'Bee-atch.'
1 comments:
I have a friend who's very loud, too. She's a teeney tiny featherweight Thailand girl. Boy, is she loud!!!! She likes to call me and put me on speaker phone while she does work so the other day I thought I'd put her on speaker phone and do the same. Well, that didn't last long as she was yelling and disrupted the whole office so I had to take her off speaker phone, permanently. As for queens, sometimes their drama can get to me but mostly I say live and let live. I just don't like when folks get catty or gossipy.
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