Warmies

It's too damn hot outside. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt right now. I have a sinus infection. The windows are open. And yet I have Christmas lights hanging in the windows and a Santa on the kitchen table. Where is my winter??

I'm not a big fan of the global warming theory, but today is one to test my beliefs. It's just too damn hot outside! 80 degrees? Are you kidding me?! Gah.

As for global warming; here's my take. Everything in this universe goes in cycles or circles. The moon around the earth, the earth around the sun, the menstrual cycle, life-death, seasons... I could go on and on. Why shouldn't the climate do the same? As much of a bleeding heart democrat as I can be, I just can't get on the bandwagon about this. It's a great cause but a lame battle cry. If we are going to change our polluting ways, we need to not only start at the bottom with grass roots efforts but start at the top with the big corporations (betcha thought I was going to say government). The change needs to happen, but it's not going to happen because the global warmies are pointing fingers. Everybody knows that scientific data can say anything you want it to say. In order for people to stop using such damaging products like petrol, plastics, et al and et cetera, you've got to give them alternatives. Give us more electric cars, cars that can run on air or water, better and cheaper solar power. Instead of whining Mr. and Mrs. Scientist of the world, give us an alternative. Rallies don't change the world. Inventions do.

Republican Jesus

As an equal opportunity offender, I present... Republican Jesus. Dun dun DUN!

hit the nail on the head

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

found here: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

the fence

"Secure Border Fence Act"
Are you KIDDING me?? A fence. A fence? He really thinks that some half-ass fence that he doesn't even have the money to pay for is going to solve the immigration problems? That's like putting a bandaid on an eviscerated (look it up) wound. Jesus H. Jimminy Cricket.
I ju.. I can't even speak. This is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of. And in light of our current leadership, That says something!
Oh, and I want you to pay attention to the facial expressions of the two twits in the picture. They are very telling.
::deep breath:: Ok. So here's my beef with the fence.
Instead of spending money on Corrupt Border Patrol , and a fence over 1/3 of the border, why doesn't our Boy Wonder President spend some money on foreign aid to help make Mexico a little bit less miserable. Make it so they don't want to leave.
Help these people. These are our neighbors; hard working, family oriented people who would do anything for a better life.
I'm not just saying this because my heart is bleeding. I spent a summer with a community of Mexican immigrants. I have heard first hand what they go through to get here. It's horrible. Help this country help themselves. Start a coup there! Oh... riiiiight. No oil. How could I forget.
We spend so much money on our military and focus so much on non-government related issues such as abortion, gay marriage, and Charlton Heston statues in front of state buildings (ok, maybe not that last one) but we don't consider what we can do for others and how That can solve our own problems.
Bush comes close to understanding this, but he stops short and just ends up buying the countries that are important to his military strategy. I tell you what, if Chavez ever declares war on the US, Mexico will benefit greatly. Bush will sidle up next to her and whisper "Hey baby, how about I give you're chillun and ejukashun and you keep that mean ol' bully south of the border?" Can't you just see him tipping that cowboy hat?

wonderful people

There are some weddings where you know everyone, there are some where you know no one; some you don't care to know anyone, and some you are a better person for having met the other guests.

I am so grateful to have met the people that I did at Sarah Shaffery's wedding. How many people can say that they dined, drank, and joked with an American ambassador and a neuroscientist at the wedding of a highschool friend? The Hall-Shaffery family is amazing and I knew that I would see old friends and make new friends, but I couldn't have hoped to have dined with a more interesting group of people.

Chris Dell is the Ambassador to Zimbabwe, and a hilarious, down to earth man from Jersey. He and Jim (father of the bride) went to school together at Oxford University. Chris is also a very good dancer. He speaks four languages and is married to the woman who tutored him in Bulgarian. We didn't talk politics very much; I thought it would be rude. Now I wish I would have, as he caused quite an uproar last week. Having met him before I heard about the drama, I just laughed when I read the article that talks about how the president of Zimbabwe sent him home after Chris blatently stated that the corrupt government is the reason for the country's economic problems. The speech is great. You can read it here: Chris's speech and you can read about what happened after the speech here.

Nigel, a fellow scientist with Jim, was there with his wife Maggie and their daughter Hazel. Nigel and Maggie still have very obvious English accents but live in Seattle and have been in the States for quite a while now, I believe. Hazel lives in a small college town in California and is working towards her masters in psychology. Hazel and I had a lot of fun dancing and hamming it up together. They are a wonderful family. Hazel is a daddy's girl through and through and it was interesting to watch the two of them interact together.

The champagne started flowing when Jim gave the first toast. His wife Merillee gave the second toast, their youngest daughter gave the third toast. Sarah, the lovely bride, gave a toast, and not to be left out, the groom also said a few words. By the time They finished toasting, Chris, Nigel, Maggie, Hazel and I were making our own toasts (To Health!!).

I got to see an old friend from highschool at the wedding. Mikey looks every bit the New Yorker these days. He can still dance like an angel and charm like the devil. I think New York and the love he has found there has really put some color in his cheeks. I'm glad to see him doing so well.
Oh! I caught the bouquet! Now all I need is a groom! Hah.

Today I sat down outside and had a wonderful conversation with Fernando, one of my neighbors. He, Romina, and Isobel are here from Venezuela to study music. Fernando told me about how Chavez is setting himself up to be a dictator, rigging elections, changing the constitution, and destroying the Venezuelan economy. I realized today that you can read the news online all you want, but unless you know someone who has experienced a situation, you can never really understand what is happening somewhere far away.

We also talked about how people from other countries view Americans. I was of the belief that people hate Americans, but Fernando says it is not true. He says that people don't like Bush, just like they don't like Chavez but that doesn't mean people don't like American citizens. Even though he is very intelligent and very well traveled, I think he might be a little nieve.
Fernando has no problems with Americans because Fernando is the type of person who loves everyone. I don't think he truly understands that he is different in that way.

After that conversation people started coming over and Fernando and I grilled steaks that he had bought. I met more Venezuelans and some Japanese students as well. I couple of my other neighbors, Jeremy and Robbie were there too. Fernando and Romina thought that they could teach Jeremy and I how to salsa. Poor misguided Fernando. He kept telling me "Follow me! You move to fast. Listen to the rhythm. You make big, ugly steps..." I tried to warn him. I did okay with all the twirling though, and that was fun. He and Romina said they will teach me. I would love to learn, but if he gives up trying to show me, he wouldn't be the first (right, Mikey?).

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend, one that I will hold onto for a long time to come.

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try some times, you just might find you get what you need."