The Hug

I've made a friend at the special education school where I have been interning this summer. He's non-communicative, but is a very bright boy with a huge capacity for emotion. He is a sweetheart. I simply love him to pieces and I'm really going to miss him when I stop going next week.

Today we were outside with the children. C was in his wheelchair, sitting not far from me. We were 'talking' when he reached out his long arms one at a time. First arm came over and I took his hand in mine. We shook hands and he smiled. Second arm came over and I leaned in closer and took his other hand. He pulled me close and held me with his arms wrapped around my shoulders for the longest time. It was one of the sweetest hugs I've ever been given. A child's hug, innocent, with no expectations. We both had smiles on our faces for quite a while after that. He simply made my day.

Smiles and Storms

I started my psychology internship at Ellisville State School today. Before I went out there I had no idea how all-encompassing their care was. They have on-campus dorms, a Special Education school, work programs, recreational programs, rehabilitation programs, care for geriatrics, pediatrics, and everyone between with a wide variety of special needs. Most of the clients are mentally handicapped and psychiatric diagnoses are secondary from what I can tell.

The facility is much cleaner, calmer, and prettier than I expected. There is a pond, lots of green grass, and some really fascinating architectural detail. Inside the buildings were clean, organized, and had a much warmer feel than I expected. It does have the same smell as a hospital unit would. I think it is mostly due to the wide use of PEG tubes for feeding the clients. There is a distinct aroma that goes along with the nutritional supplement they use.

Today was my first day to work in the SPED school, where I will do the rest of my 80 hours this summer. It was a wonderful experience. The teacher was very friendly and well-spoken. She didn't have that air of working too long at a mental health institution like some of the employees I have met. One woman I met yesterday exhibited several behaviors of her clients and although I'm sure she is completely healthy and capable of doing her job, I think she could benefit from some time away from the institution.

The children were a pleasure to be around. It truly is something amazing to see the innocent joy in their faces when you say a kind word or they know they did something correctly. Those uninhibited smiles are something only a special child could give. It was sad, though, to see how quickly a smile could fade and a storm would take over the mind. The retreat inward often looked painful and chaotic. I found myself compelled to try to keep the kids I was interacting with focused on the world outside their minds, like the best thing I could do was to keep them distracted. But who knows if that is truly the case?

I know that this is going to be a huge part of my summer and I will probably be writing about it often. Forgive me if my posts become obtuse, as I am not allowed to talk about clients due to the HIPAA law. I will, however, be sharing my feelings about the experience as the summer goes on.